So, as of Wednesday February 26th, Cliff Hicks and Maxis have parted ways.

More details will come later, after I take a few days off from, well, just about everything.

So I tried to post the other day... but evidentally blogger was updating or something like that. Well anyways... I have no clue why I am posting except that I can. I have no porblems at home. I have no hardship. I just thought that this blog was getting a little too depressing. So thats why I am here with...

THE JOKE OF THE DAY:

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Why do scotsmen wear kilts?
Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he sees a priest hitchhiking on the road. He stops to pick up the priest, but he has a few misgivings about giving him a ride; usually when the driver sees a redneck on the road, he hits them -- with a priest in the truck, he'd have to swerve. But the driver decides to pick up the priest.
A little while later, he comes across a redneck hitchhiking. He decides to just swerve and let this one live when, all of a sudden he hears a "BOOM!" The driver looks over at the priest, who says, "Don't worry -- I got him with the door."


Ok thats all for now.... I'll come up with some more later....hehe

yay! Finally got mah PC setup at work (wich so happens to be my PC from home since I don't care to use the system provided). Now to just get the bossman to become trusting enough that I don't have to worry about hitting the minimize button so quicly :)

All I can say is: Cheer up pookie bear!



I half-considered posting this from E's point of view, since I'm using her comp, but that's just mean.



So ladies, email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because cuddling when under duress helps alleviate stress.

hee hee, I rhymed.

Just when you think things can't get worse...

NOW PLAYING: Jimmy Eat World - "Believe In What You Want"
Lyrics: "You cannot waste a single night. / What you ignore is priceless to me..."

To quote Ben Affleck from "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back":

"When, Lord when? When's gonna be my time?"

NOW PLAYING: Counting Crows - "Anna Begins"
Lyrics: "Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing..."

Muther fawker...I forgot to freaking hit publish earlier today...well whats up is that my ass FINALLY got a job about 11amish after an interview with some pretty damn energetic people. It's some sign shop that has those sings on trucks that basically drive around the more populated areas doing mobile advertiseing. What my job sounds like is doing my Graphic Design thing for the trucks, manageing the computer systems/Network Admin, and being lower management...hey...works for me! Good chance to save some funds, get some billz paid, and all & all kinda be in on what reaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyyyy feels upstartish suroundings, but it looks good...just gota work things around to be good. My office sucks ass, but thats b/c it's not what you would normaly call an office, but thats what it'll be once I'm thru with it. Could be good...could be so/so...could blow up in my face like Clientlogic, but I'm optamistic for once. Who says I can't be versitile like that? Oh yea...someone I know named Ted from a previous employment =P

I was going to post something entertaining because I personally need more entertainment than Cliff's song lyrics, but I can' t think of anything right now because I'm exahausted.




Being a superhero is hard work.

NOW PLAYING: Coldplay - "Clocks"
Lyrics: "Am I / A part of the cure / Or am I part / of the disease?"

NOW PLAYING: Taking Back Sunday - "Great Romances of the 20th Century"
Lyrics: "So please, please, I'm running out of sympathy / And I never said I'd take this.. / ...I never said I'd take this lying down / but I've crawled home from worse than this / If it's not keeping you up nights / then what’s the point... / then what's the point..."

Erin, you have free license to do with what you want with any of those pictures from that session. If you want, I'll even scan in the rest I took if you want...

As for me... well...

I may fall seriously silent for a while right now.

I like to talk about troubled waters some times, and I just hit what may turn out to be one of the biggest storms of my life. I don't really want to talk about it with strangers, but for my friends who are concerned, feel free to call in the evening (past 9 p.m. my time) and I'll go over it with you. I would so kill for a massage, an AK-47 and a pardon in advance right about now.

yeah, it's that bad. sorry.

Okay, people, I want honest to god opinions from all three of you that actually read this page. I'm looking to make a little extra money, since I'm pretty fucking poor right now, and the only idea I've had so far is to sell prints of some of my photography. I've got a few of them up right now at my webpage. Just click on the link at the left hand side labeled "RL", and that'll bring you to the photos. The ones at the top are just me, which if you want one of those, you have to talk to the Cliff-ster, since they're his photos. The rest at the bottom are all me, and I want peoples opinions on whether or not you guys would pay money for a nice print of them. Email me or just post a comment to let me know.

Thanks guys. ^^

And now, an old email that I got at random from someone I don't know that I keep around, just to reassure me that the world is surreal...

---------------------

message: If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human
and or have the technology to travel physically through time I
need your help!

My life has been severely tampered with and cursed!!
I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

I need to be able to:

Travel back in time.

Rewind my life including my age back to 4.

Be able to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my
life from being tampered with again after I go back.

I am in very great danger and need this immediately!

I am aware that there are many types of time travel, and that
humans do not do well through certain types.

I need as close to temporal reversion as possible, as safely as
possible. To be able to rewind the hands of time in such a way
that the universe of now will cease to exist.
I know that there are some very powerful people out there with
alien or government equipment capable of doing just that.

If you can help me I will pay for your teleport or trip down
here, Along with hotel stay, food and all expenses. I will pay
top dollar for the equipment. Proof must be provided.

Also if you are one of the very few beings with the ability to
edit the universe PLEASE REPLY!!!


Only if you have this technology and can help me please send me
a (SEPARATE) email to:

**********@*****.*****

Please do not reply if your an evil alien!
Thanks

---------------

Some days, the random email I get is simply too much fun. I've kept this one a whole year and I still don't have the heart to delete it...

Woo hoo! I'm up finally. Went to sleep after I posted last. For some reason I thought I would wake up in the afternoon, but it came down to my mother walking in and offering me dinner. This was 6:15. PM. So I think I'm operating on some sort of time in Europe or Asia right now. And I think I put more miles on my car this weekend than Cliff, so nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah. And I had to work in between it all. But hey, you have to make the time if the people are important enough, otherwise you may lose them. Because if they're still asking you to come see them, they still find you important. If you keep refusing, they may stop asking.

So a few miles on the car doesn't faze me. Besides, I can go get an oil change until midnight if I really want to. Gotta love those people at Toyota.

And I want to know how it's possible for you to have started typing the post at 7:30 AM Cliff, when you left my house in Sac at 7:15 AM. I wasn't aware that it only took 15 minutes t get to Walnut Creek from here. I must be taking the wrong freeway.

Damn, Christy, go to bed already. I mean, sure, you haven't gotten virtually any sleep in the last few days, but hell, I've been up since 4 p.m. yesterday and show no sign of slowing down. (I'm in the fucking office already, and I started this post at 7:30... it's just taking me a long time to write it all goddamnit...)

So, my weekend in a nutshell...

FRIDAY: I left work at around 2 p.m. that afternoon This granted me the time to hit a florist and proceed down to Santa Cruz for fencing. Gifts were delivered. An amusing story about John Mayer's new live album ensued, before it was rebought on CD and regiven. Fencing was had. Cliff was struck a couple of times. Erin was struck once. No severe injuries resulted. The opening routine is coming together nicely and should only take a few more sessions before it's ready for execution. Erin had to go to a puppet show (for which no ticket could be acquired for me) so Erich and I went out and obtained dinner. (I ordered both sesame chicken and combination fried rice -- couldn't finish it all, obviously, so brought back my leftovers, which Erin then ate for dinner.) Part of the house watched The Patriot, but it just wasn't in the mood for Erin, Erich and I, who chatted until Erich took off. Erin and I then watched the end of Stargate SG-1 (which was a clips episode, so she doesn't feel bad about missing most of) and then some of Farscape. At some point during Farscape, Christy showed up randomly, which was endless amounts of fun. (I actually knew she was coming, but she wanted to keep it a surprise.) Then Ocean's 11 was watched, because one can never watch too much Ocean's 11. Estimated end-of-day: Approx. 3 a.m.

SATURDAY: Estimated start of day: Approx. 11 a.m. (I was awake at 9 or so when Christy left that morning, but only for a couple of minutes...) Consciousness was gained on Erin's couch, which is becoming one of my favorite places to sleep (I kid you not, that thing is insanely comfortable) and the house was waking up. Louis had slept downstairs, and Sherrie and Megan were already up, with Erin just waking up. Ian arrived shortly. Waffles were made with Megan's new waffle maker. They were tasty AND delicious. An attempt was made to find interesting television. This resulted in approximately 20 minutes of the Mortal Kombat movie being watched before common sense kicked it. We then put on The Enforcer, which stars Jet Li. It was entertaining, although not thoroughly so. Erin passed out and slept on the couch for much of it. People came and went while she slept and I watched. Eventually, she woke back up, we chatted for a bit, then she got ready for work while I watched the Behind the Movie for Top Gun, which amused me to no end. (Hearing director Tony Scott talk about writing a $25,000 check to get an aircraft carrier captain to get a single shot, and then having the check bounce, was hysterical.) But alas all good things must come to an end, and Erin had to go to work, so I hopped in the car and began the long drive. From Santa Cruz to Sacramento I drove, making a stop to acquire lunch along the way. Once in Sacramento, I found Sacramento Theatre Company and was met by Greg and Liz and we watched "Tea," an interesting play about Japanese brides of Americans in the Midwest between World War II and Vietnam. It was an insightful show, although the opening scene is far too jarring and far too much out of context with the rest of the show. I enjoyed it on the whole, although there were some moments that dragged or could have been sharpened. It was about culture differences, relationships and a ton of other things that I could probably go into a great more detail about were I that much more coherent, but I'm failing on that level. After the show, we caught dinner at Tapa's, and then went back to Greg and Liz's, where we talked into EARLY morning. I mean, seriously... EARLY morning. Estimated end-of-day: Approx. 8 a.m.

SUNDAY: Estimated start of day: Approx. 3:30 p.m. (Seriously...) We arose in the late afternoon and bummed around the house for a while, with Christy coming over after her show wrapped. Pancakes were made and partially consumed (which was funny, it being the afternoon). Super Mario World was played on SNES and it was realized that we're all very rusty. After a while, it was time to take leave of Greg and Liz and leave them to their own lives, so Christy and I took off and went to have Mongolian BBQ, because goddamnit, ya just can't get enough Mongolian BBQ. After spending a couple of hours in the joint (and me consuming enough water to fill a small lake), we headed back to Greg and Liz's to pick up my car. I required their facilities and used them (because of said water) and then we went over to Christy's house to hang for a little while. "A little while" turned into an all-night conversation that concluded over a cheesesteak and French Toast Sticks (it's amazing what you can get at drive through's these days) and I am, in fact, not concluded with this day yet, as I'm in the office and running on a completely screwed timeclock. My body's like "Where the fuck are we? Beruit? Tibet? Zimbabwe? What's going on here?" so I'm just riding with the punches and rolling out the day. Or is that reversed? I can't tell anymore. Dozens of new and upcoming injokes were made between Christy and I, and they will be debuting in a conversation near you sometime soon. All in all, it was a wonderful weekend, spent with wonderful friends. My thanks go out to my hosts -- Erin, Greg, Liz and Christy. This next weekend, dear Lord, I think everyone should just come to MY place instead, before I pass out and die, or before my car screams and kills me. I put an estimated 375 miles on my car this weekend. Seriously, my ass was on the drive train. The vehicle was in motion a lot. I was getting up and going. Doing the old zipperoonie. Something like that. I feel major league drained, but I had tons'o'fun and remember why my weekends rock so much. Still, gals and guy, seriously, seriously, like, can everyone come up to my place this next time? Maybe this weekend or the next? Unless of course the field trip gets off the ground, in which case, y'know, then we're good to go. Although we'll have to figure out who's car we're packing into. Mine's clean. Not kidding. You could ride in it and not worry about the creature from the black lagoon trying to take over your soul. But if we want to take someone else's car, you know I'm down for that too. We'll keep hammering plans on that, though, so that's good. Let's get it all settled and quick. Estimated end-of-day: Approx. 6 p.m. (still forthcoming)


The time is now 11:05 a.m., meaning I will be in the office approximately 4 more hours before I go home, put the cell on the charger, lay down, pet Marx for 30 seconds and then sleep for around 12-14 hours. Should you encounter an emergency that requires my immediate attention, run it through the Five Level Disaster Scale and if it doesn't come up a 4 or higher, fuggedaboutit. To determine how it falls on the Five Level Disaster scale, add one point for each things said disaster has: *Is it going to change my life? *Is it a positive disaster? *Will the reprecussions be felt for many months? *Does it involve "Naked Time™"? *Will other people be talking about in a few days? *Can I make a difference? *Would I really want to? *Is there PIE involved? *Would Kevin Smith make a documentary on it? *Can you convince me that I want to help? *Can I help? *Is there something in it for me? -- got 4 points or more? If so, call me. If not, it'll keep...

NOW PLAYING: Spiritualized - "Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space"
Lyics: "All I want in life's a little bit of love / To take the pain away / Getting strong today / A giant step each day/ All I want in life's a little bit of love / To take the pain away / Getting strong today / A giant step each day..."

It's true, Gandalf the Grey is a stinky monkey man whore.

No Cliff, you can't have a cheesesteak sandwich. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's true, I finally broke my New Year's resolution and hit a drive through. But I think it doesn't actually count because I ordered breakfast. French Toast Sticks, if you really want to know.

I've had an hour and a half of sleep total in the last 46 hours. So I'm a little loopy. Just a little.

*ahem* Attention Ladies and Gentlemen,

Gandalf the Grey is a Stinky Monkey Man- Whore.

So Erin, I found out why your hero Wil Wheaton's no longer doing Arena on G4... and lemme tell ya, it's fucked up...

Liz kicked me out about an hour ago. I've been up for twenty four hours straight by this point. I don't think that napping is an option in the near future. Although I still have the ability to write in complete coherent sentences.

On that note, ladies email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because I know firsthand that Cliff has been having sleepless nights. And everyone deserves a teddy bear to cuddle with on those cold winter nights. Cliff probably has the ability to make some lucky girl a nice life sized teddy bear. Not that I'm saying he has any qualities of a life sized teddy bear or anything. Hey Cliff, when you read this, strike through the last two sentences. I think I've typed myself into a hole here. Or there. Damn hole keeps moving. Shut up, I warned you all that I haven't had any sleep. Go worry about your own lives, and leave me alone!

I was thinking about making some kind of rant about this holiday, being that it holds a kind of special pain for me. But I've realized to do that is to focus on the wrong part of it. And you should even look past the things that they tell you to do. Sure, it's good to have a reminder, and you still should do them, but you shouldn't hide your feelings and bury your emotions. You should be sure to appreciate what you have in life. You should give, just to give, not because you expect anything in return. Expecting anything will only bring you disappointment. I try not to expect anything from anyone, and that way I find I'm rarely disappointed. It always surprises me when I hear from women in relationships that they never get flowers, just at random. That their boyfriends/husbands/significant others never just do random good things. My fellow men, you're letting me down here. You should send flowers today. You should give a gift to the woman or women (or, in some cases, girl or girls) who mean something to you, who are important to you, for whatever reason, not just love, but friendship, or even just kinship. Too many people have let the good things in their life go by unappreciated, and didn't see them until they were gone from their lives forever. Too many people take what they have for granted. Too many people are trapped by the concepts and rules of society, by what is and is not, what people say should and should, what the majority says is and is not.

I know, you think I'm rambling, but I'm chasing down a point, trying to make it make sense. In the end, people think Valentine's Day is about love, but it's not. It's about appreciation. It's like a more commercialized, specialized version of Thanksgiving. Or maybe it isn't, but it should be. And I give thanks to the people who are there for me, to the people who are important to me. I hope that all of you who have someone treasure them especially tonight, and that you remember to treasure them especially every night. And to those of you who don't have someone, I wish that I could tell you that you will find someone, but I'm no liar. Still, if you're good people (and I'd like to hope that you are), you may eventually find someone who appreciates you, if you're willing to give a little, risk a little, dream a little. It's not about hope; it's about faith. Not faith in a higher power, not faith in the world around, not faith in other people, but faith in yourself. Have faith that someone somewhere is out there for you, and maybe, just maybe, you'll find them. Maybe.

NOW PLAYING: The Afghan Whigs - "John the Baptist"
Lyrics: "Anything for a lover / Anything for a friend / I only wanna see you happy / Baby can we pretend / I'd give anything to see you dance / I'd give anything to see you smile / But baby doesn't want just anything / She wants everything..."

I'm not sure if I'm scared, amused or just saddened, so I suppose I'll be all three.

Holy Crap, we actually got some emails. (Insert supportive non-demeaning, Cliff ego-boosting comment here) That and it's 4 AM, so I find this incredibly funny (who knows, it might be):

[01] Full Name: ****** ******* Hicks (well, hopefully, after this)
[02] Sex: Female
[03] Birthday: December 13, 1981
[04] Age: 21
[05] Sign: saggittarius
[06] Height: 5'5"
[08] Hair Color: Red
[09] Eye Color: Green
[10] Ethnic Background: Irish, I suppose.
[11] Birthplace: Poughkeepsie, NY
[12] Hometown: Coral Gables, FL
[13] Father's Name: John
[14] Mother's Name: Eileen
[15] Sibling(s): 7
[16] Best Friend: Cliff (soon, I hope)
[17] Are You With Anyone?: I will be with Cliff. I know this.
[18] Are You In Love?: with Cliff
[19] Are You In A Relationship?: Cliff loves me, he just hasn't realized this yet
[20] Are You A Virgin?: I'm saving myself for Cliff
[21] Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?: Yes. It's what happened when I saw Cliff's picture
[22] Do You Believe In True Love?: Yes. His name is Cliff Hicks.
[23] Do You Enjoy French-kissing?: I will .... with Cliff
[24] Do You Keep a Picture of Your Beloved Somewhere?: Cliff.... yes, I hae a shrine to him in my bedroom...
[25] Any Fetishes?: does masturbating by rubbing Cliff's picture against myself count?
[26] Describe Yourself: Hot for Cliff
[27] How Do You Think Others Would Describe You: hmmm... I don't know. Cliff-loving?
[28] Your Best Feature: My face.
[29] Your Worst Feature: my arms. My lack of Cliff at the moment
[30] Have You Ever smoked: No
[31] Have You Ever drank?: Yes. Once I got drunk and I tried calling Cliff's house over and over and he was all silly and playful, told me not to call again or he'd call the cops
[32] Have You Ever Done Drugs: Does Prozak count?
[33] Do you like to travel?: To see Cliff? I'll go around the world and back
[34] Have you ever visited another country?: NO
[35] Do you own any pets?: two cats, one named CLiff and the other Hicks
[36] Do you have a cell phone/pager?: cell phone
[37] Do you like amusement parks?: sure
[38] Have you ever been to a concert?: yes
[39] Do you have any piercing: No
[40] Do you have any tattoos?: No
[41] Are you a vegetarian: does Cliff want me to be?
[42] Do you play a musical instrument?: the tuba
[43] Have you meet/do you know anyone famous?: No, but I want to meet Cliff. You know, like in person?
[44] Do you believe in fate? Yes. I am meant to be with Cliff
[45] What is the background on your computer screen of?: Cliff's picture


LAST PERSON...
You Touched: myself, thinking of Cliff
You Talked to: I called Cliff's house and again he was being silly and hung up on me, calling me a crazy bitch ... he's so cute
You Hugged: my pillow, whispering Cliff's name
You Instant messaged: Cliff.... he hasn't replied
You Yelled At: my computer, when it accidentally blocked me from IMing Cliff
You Had A Crush On: It's only been you, my darling Cliff
Who Broke Your Heart: Puppy


ARE YOU...
Understanding: yes
Open-minded: sure
Arrogant: no
Insecure: no
Interesting: yes
Hungry: for Cliff's cock
Friendly: yes
Smart: yes
Moody: never
Childish: no
Independent: no I depend only on Cliff
Hard working: yes
Organized: sure
Healthy: both mentally and physically.
Emotionally Stable: of course ....
Shy: no
Difficult: no
Attractive: yes
Bored Easily: not of my Cliffy darling!
Messy: no, I'd make the best wife for Cliff
Thirsty: for CLIFF
Responsible: yes.
Obsessed: CLIFFCLIFFCLIFF
Angry: no
Sad: maybe
Happy: only when I think of Him, my God, my CLiff.
Trusting: yes
Talkative: not really
Legal: yes
Original: yes
Ignored: no, why do you think Cliff would ignore me? well you're WRONG, he LOVES me!
Reliable: uh huh
Content: hmm...
Optimistic: sure
Deep thinker: yeah
Self-disciplined: yes
Sleepy: no
Lonely: for Cliff.


WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Slap: any bitch who thinks she can get between me an dmy man Cliff
Get Really Wasted With: Cliff
Tickle: Cliff
Be Like: Cliff


Name has been starred out to protect the insane...

And if you don't want Cliff, you can email my brother Tim at monkey@absentme.com and check out his website at www.absentme.com He's in a band, apparently he thinks that makes him cool. Hey, he's my little (6'5" tall) bother, er, brother. So ladies, email monkey@absentme.com because variety is the spice of life. And happy single's awareness day.

Does she even read this site? If so, Happy Birthday, if not, then I asked a really good question.

So ladies, email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because Cliff has answers to all of those really pressing questions, and you may have answers to some of his. And don't let him spend his next birthday alone.

Happy birthday Mrs. Frost!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! ^^

Gandalf The Grey is a smelly monkey. I know that some of you knew this... but I just thought it should be said.

So apparently my message freaked everyone out. Which is good I guess. I like playing by my rules and no one else's.

And now, the reason I am posting... remember how I kept ranting and raving about how Mogwai were awesome and how none of you had heard them? Well, many of you now have. Seen that Levi's commercial with the stampede of bulls or rams or buffalo or whatever the hell they are?

The song you're listening to in the background is Mogwai's song "Summer" from their "Ten Rapid" CD (which is basically just a CD of their early recordings/singles) and if you like that song, you'll probably like a ton of their other stuff. Perfect music for 2 a.m. in the state of barely consciousness.

That's all I had to say, really. For now.

It's good to conquer things that scare you once in a while.

It reminds you that you're alive.

NOW PLAYING: Luna - "Romantica"
Lyrics: "I'm in a jam / You're in a pickle / We're in a stew / It's cold in the oven / It's warm in the freezer / There's red in my blue..."

O_o

I'm so scared of those two...

So it should be obvious at this point that Christy is, in fact, inside my cubicle. If you did not understand that portion of the last post, please go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 (ya poor bastard...).

The story is thusly: Christy had an appointment to get her hair done this morning. This appointment was not in fact in the Sacramento area, but somewhere in the vague approximation of Berkeley. Exactly where I do not know, but then again I do not know exactly where most things are. My brain, for a prime example. Or my soul. (Say the bottom of my shoe and you're fucking fired, get it?) So since she needed to have this hair appointment during The Mythical Hours (I tell you, I have no real proof that time exists between, say, 7 a.m. and 9 a.m... I've been up UNTIL 7 a.m., and I've gotten up just after 9 a.m., but those two hours? They don't really exist...) and since it's a two hour drive from Sac and only about a 45 minute drive from my place, she drove down last night and crashed on my couch (which she, reading over my shoulder, says to say was "comfortable") after having a drinking bout with Joe, Lara, Joe's friends Ian and Patrick, as well as Marx. Marx, of course, drank EVERYONE under the table... (Never fuck with an alcoholic cat... he can and will prove you are weak...)

After her hair appointment, she spent several hours attempting to find Maxis. The tour guide who put the blindfold over her eyes assured her that the Fatwah of Death only applied if she saw how to actually get TO the studio. So he then got in a car, did doughnuts for two hours, then took her out of the car in exactly the same spot they started and walked her to the office. NOTE: None of this actually happened. If you believe me, you are a fool and a gentleman. Even if you're a lady. So take your newly found penis, put it in your pipe and smoke it.... No, not REALLY.

And now, after returning from a wonderful lunch at Fuddruckers, we have returned to the small cave-like dwelling I call my cubicle (the bonfire attracts MANY people... for you see... I... I have fire! And you don't. Nah nah nah nah nah!) and are ranting and raving under the stars. Which is tricky, being as it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon. And we're indoors. And we're on the 6th of 10 floors. So. Yeah.

I think at this point you can officially not believe anything I have said in this post. You can, but it's you're own folly. I'm in a whimsy mood and I can't tell you quite why. It's like meloncholy. I was sobbing in tears not more than an hour ago and now I'm laughing like someone's tickling my feet with a feather... wait... Christy, stop that! Dammit! I need my shoes! Come back here with my shoes! I can't go home without my goddamn shoes!!!!

We now return you to what may have been a regularly scheduled program, but knowing us was just reruns of a not so very interesting soap opera. We will attempt to bring you a new chapter of a much more interesting soap opera in the immediate future. It will have twists, turns, plot points, characters doing bizarre things and my mysterious identical twin brother Curt, who is 11 1/2 years younger than me. Or not. This has been a test of the Emergency Madness System. Had this been actual madness, I would have typed like this: s;lrjhg;pwahbignhoifborw3e[08gfjnvbioehoityq890 ucon;o35hgoiu ndi;o h35opui opnpouiwro nopib pourwhn Bob Dole ownhvpouashpoughwpuig hofisopuirwopuirhw Dubya Bush [spjgpoiewahpodv;l jerpogi foibn opjefn bpvcnpoibw oi Dan Quayle is GOD ljksngaeporhgopuidns oibjw4oupqg oipuas go "There is nothing more important than bondage between a mother and child." oifsdhopgiqewhiobpouiqhporjhf8oehqtp5 I repeat, this has only been ... A TEST.

Off to find my shoes, my brain and the yellow brick road. Not necessarily in that order.

"I'm going to get you and your little dog Tin Tin too! Muahahahahahahah!"

Only after five failed login attempts and a password request later, I get to tell all you game geeks that I'M SITTING INSIDE MAXIS AND YOU'RE NOT.

So ladies, email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because Cliff's cubicle gets lonely sometimes, and it's in desperate need of some decor....

Okay, since no one's posted in awhile, I figured I might as well fill in some space.

So, what's new in my life? Not too much, but what little has been new is fun and cool in a spiffy sort of way.

Chronologically, let's start with Friday. So Friday at 1pm, I had my Senior Comprehensive Orals. Big title for "fifteen minutes of sheer panic and terror". Basically, I had to get up in front of a panel of three of the teachers at my school, and justify my last 3 1/2 years here, so they can decide whether or not I should graduate. Always fun. But I did it, and they seemed to enjoy my performance. Since I have an acting focus, I talked about my experiences and performed some monologues. They loved the last one I did, which was Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream, my favorite Shakespeare play. Overall, it was a success, and I believe I'll be graduating with the rest of my class.

On to Saturday. An overall fun day, with Cliff making a guest appearance as Wise and Scary Fencing teacher. I now have videotape of him and my friend Erich going at it with large sticks. After the fun of beating each other, I disappeared to film my very first commercial! ^^ Yes, that's right kids, now you get to suffer through seeing me on tv as well as on this site! ^^ I filmed a commercial for the Marijuana Policy Project, a group supporting medical marijuana. The commercials will air on the east coast first, and then travel across the country. For more info (and the scripts if you're really bored, I'm in the one entitled "Priorities") take a gander at The Marijuana Policy Project, and see if you want to support them, or me, or something. The commercials should be online at some point, I'll keep you guys informed.

Anyway, now I must get ready for class. So I will return later. Maybe. If I feel so inclined...

*poof!*

Not a lost cause, just a person in need of a gas station to pull over to and ask for directions.

So ladies, email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com and help Cliff find his way back to the highway of life.

*sigh*

Yeah, it's official. I'm a complete lost cause.

Yay! Christy said yes!

So this means Christy and I got a date before The Touched Bachelor got one!

HEIGHT: 5'3''
HAIR COLOR: Blonde
SKIN COLOR: Quaker
EYEBROWS: Have 2
EYE COLOR: Hazel
ABOUT EARS: cute and pierced
ABOUT LIPS: Kissable
ABOUT TONGUE: **CENSORED**
ABOUT CHIN: Not like Jay Leno's
SHOULDERS: The only part of my body that tans
MUSCLES: I grew up moving furniture for my parent's furniture... I am pretty muscular.
STYLE: in what?

---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Grey
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Some song that is on the "easy listening" station at work.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Mocha Shake (Diet I promise)
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: It's like summer in Tahoe, but its February.
HOW ARE YOU?: I have a headache (ouch)
---------------
---Do you...---
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: no but I get sick of people in motion...
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: I seem to piss people off pretty easily, I guess I need to work on that.
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Oh yeah. Now the question is, do my parents get along with each other?
LIKE TO DRIVE?: It depends on if I have been at work all day or not. If not, the HELL YES.

---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
SHOW: The only two shows I have been faithfully watch is That 70's Show and "joe Millionaire". (The latter is because I want to see the money hungry bitches get what they are asking for.) I am a sick individual.
SHAMPOO: Suave
CONDITIONER: Suave
BOOK: I can't think of a favorite at the moment.
MAGAZINE: People
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Iced Tea
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: SLEEP!!!
BAND OR GROUP: The B52's BABY!!!! Eh.. I don't know.
FEELING: Love
DOG BREED: Charpei (sp?)
-----------------
---Have you...---
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW:Oh yeah, plenty of times.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: eh, yes and no.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: Yes.
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: Stayed up later than that! Shit, four am is for beginners
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Who hasn't?
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: I blew one up before, does that count?
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Yes.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: I was kicked out of high school (the second time) because of horrible attendance. Luckily, they let me back in AGAIN.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH?: I have thought about it.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Look who you are asking....
CRIED IN PUBLIC: Yes
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes.

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: Yes.
GIRLFRIEND: I have been meaning to ask this. Christy, will you be my girlfriend?
VIRGINITY EXISTENT: *laughs*
CHILDREN?: Does the child that I adopted through that Sally Struthers commercial count? ^_-
BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Yes. I tried to climb over Cliff when we were drunk, but I had a hard time. I had a hard time getting over and ex too.
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: Uh, yeah.
TOO SHY?: In large groups of people I just met. (What she said.)
BEEN HURT?: Yes.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: Yes.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Not marrying Prince William when he asked me.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: Justin Davis. I think I was 4 also.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Greg and I had met on the net and then decided to meet one day. That evening we were a couple.
------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: Yes.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: The Chicago Movie Soundtrack (What Christy Said)
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: Fresh Air (If you don't think it exsists, then go find one of those sented boxes. I am still not sure what that smell is.)
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Doing something so good that my friends notice.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Replacing "The Scarlet Pimpernel"
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?:
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE? In my sleep.

-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...-
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: A few days ago when I found out my dog had died.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: When I was 12?
YOU GOT E-MAIL: I recieved an e-mail from a guy wanting me to send him a costume today.
THING YOU PURCHASED: Mocha Shake
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: The Today Show
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: About Schimdt

HEIGHT: 5'10"
HAIR COLOR: Black
SKIN COLOR: varying shades that represent various espresso drinks
EYEBROWS: See hair color
EYE COLOR: Brown
ABOUT EARS: Five piercings, two in the left ear, three in the right
ABOUT LIPS: Not pierced
ABOUT TONGUE: Not pierced either
ABOUT CHIN: What about my chin?
SHOULDERS: 13 summers of swim team will give them to you
MUSCLES: Coming out of hiding
STYLE: More than most, less than some.

---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Black, just got off of work..
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: The message tone of AOL instant messenger.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Cold chicken fajita from Chevy's
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: It's nighttime, you tell me/
HOW ARE YOU?: Eh.
---------------
---Do you...---
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: nope
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Probably
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: As long as my mother's not trying to marry me off.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: yup

---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
SHOW: I've been on a TV hiatus as of late
SHAMPOO: Paul Mitchell Shampoo Two
CONDITIONER: Nexxus Humectress
BOOK: There hasn't really been a book I've ever hated
MAGAZINE: Self
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Virgin Sea Breeze (Sprite and Cranberry Juice) with a twist of lime
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Sleep in
BAND OR GROUP: Dave Brubeck Quartet
FEELING: Giddy Happiness
DOG BREED: Anything big and friendly
-----------------
---Have you...---
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW:Yes, gotten caught? No.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Some people prefer to call it "going to college"
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: Yup.
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: Come close many a time. Especially lately.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Yup
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: No
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Only when booking their vacation tickets.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes, but I think we called that "swim team"
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH?: No
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yes
CRIED IN PUBLIC: Yes
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes.

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: Not at the moment
GIRLFRIEND: No
VIRGINITY EXISTENT: No.
CHILDREN?: Jeffrey, he's five years old and only comes out to play when it rains. He also lives in my head.
BEEN IN LOVE?: Love happens to other people, not to me.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Not really, hard time letting go of what might have been, yes
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: this goes back to defining what a date is, cause according to the traditional definitions, I've been dating my best friend Matt for three years.
TOO SHY?: In large groups of people I just met.
BEEN HURT?: Not relationship-wise.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: Only to friends.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: I don't regret. I move on.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: James Foote. We were 4.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Possibly, but then again we're going back to that "define date" thing.
------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: This week, yes
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: The Chicago Movie Soundtrack
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: Sangria
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: When I find it and keep it. I'll let you know.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Norah Jones
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Matt, Cliff, Lindsay, Brad, Katie, Kyla, Erin, Sherrie, Megan, Dana
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE? Quickly

-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...-
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: Don't remember.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: I got a postcard from Kyla. Woo hoo.
YOU GOT E-MAIL: Real or Spam?
THING YOU PURCHASED: Fajitas
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Friends
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Catch Me If You Can

I was amused. Thought I'd take a shot at it. Actually, I think all of us Touched folks ought to do it, and then put in under a link somewhere, so people know who the hell we are. ^^

Anyway, here goes:

HEIGHT: A perky 5'4", but I'm usually 5'5" due to shoes.
HAIR COLOR: Dark brown with the occasionaly red highlight.
SKIN COLOR: Chinese American aka: Yellowish, but it kinda imitates a tan in a nice way.
EYEBROWS: See hair color
EYE COLOR: Dark brown (sense a trend?)
ABOUT EARS: Two piercings in each.
ABOUT LIPS: Two of them,
ABOUT TONGUE: Pink, has taste buds
ABOUT CHIN: I have one, it's sharper than it used to be.
SHOULDERS: Pretty square and straight, best upper body feature actually.
MUSCLES: Somewhere...
STYLE: Comfortable, but stylish. Flare jeans and comfy baby doll t-shirts most of the time, with boots or sneakers. I'm pretty casual. I like The Gap, shoot me.

---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Grey ones, I just shrank them, so they finally fit properly.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: "Unwell" by Matchbox Twenty
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Chocolate chip cookies... mmmm....
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Cold and Sunny
HOW ARE YOU?: Mildly stressed, but cheerful about it.

---------------
---Do you...---
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Everytime I'm on a boat larger than 20 ft long.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Sucking my thumb
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Love 'em.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: Not lately, the cops are spying on me constantly...

---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
SHOW: C.S.I.
SHAMPOO: Dove
CONDITIONER: Again, with the Dove
BOOK: Too many, can't pick just one. "Lord of the Rings", any of Mercedes Lackey's books...
MAGAZINE: Entertainment Weekly
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Coke
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Curl up in the sun with a good book.
BAND OR GROUP: John Mayer. Okay, technically he's not either, but dammit, I like him so there.
FEELING: Warmth
DOG BREED: Siberian husky.

-----------------
---Have you...---
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW:Speeding count?
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Contemplated, decided it wasn't worth the effort.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: Yup.
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: Not really... I'd rather talk in person.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Nope
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: I try never to go near them
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: In a way. I go shopping with my mother, she pays for everything. That count?
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Only college. And senior cut day.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH?: Nope, can't get comfy.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yup, in college and in high school.
CRIED IN PUBLIC: Probably. Several times.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Always.

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: Eventually, I'm sure.
GIRLFRIEND: About 5, and I love each and every one of them. ^^
VIRGINITY EXISTENT: Last time I checked.
CHILDREN?: Only some of my friends when we're drunk. ^^
BEEN IN LOVE?: Yup.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Yup.
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: HAHAHAHAHA.....
TOO SHY?: Occasionally.
BEEN HURT?: Yes. Hasn't everyone?
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: I only say it if I mean it. To do otherwise would be sucky.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: I have none.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: Never had one.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Not that I recall.

------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: Does being a student count?
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: Radio: The Two Towers Soundtrack, Car: Dave Brubeck
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: Deep Forest Green
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Life and everything in it.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: I have no idea
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Sherrie, Megan, Christy, Liz, Lara, Amber, Joe, Cliff, Greg, Young, my brother Sean, Louis, Andy, Jon, Cynthia, I could go on forever...
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE? In my sleep.

-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...-
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: About 3 weeks ago.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: Um.... don't remember... do cards count?
YOU GOT E-MAIL: About 2 minutes ago.
THING YOU PURCHASED: aforementioned chocolate chip cookies. ^^
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Catch Me If You Can

Because my friend Kat seems to delight in making me answer dozens of surveys....

HEIGHT: About 5'10"-5'11"
HAIR COLOR: blondish-brown
SKIN COLOR: mild natural tan, but not much.
EYEBROWS: dark blonde
EYE COLOR: hazel
ABOUT EARS: too damn sensative... don't tell anyone.
ABOUT LIPS: People never notice them.
ABOUT TONGUE: thick, fat.
ABOUT CHIN: currently without facial hair
SHOULDERS: right one is slightly higher than the left. Seriously. Go look.
MUSCLES: Well hidden, but definitely there.
STYLE: It's a matter of taste, I suppose. I believe style is in how you carry yourself, not in how you look. How you look is unimportant. Anyone caught up in looks is a shallow person who you can do without. Sure, you allow yourself to be influenced by looks a little, but not entirely. My style? I'm a jeans and t-shirt man (with my leather jacket over it), unless I need/want to impress someone or want to show off a bit, in which case I can be sharp like John Steed.
---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Blue jeans
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: "Circles" by Soul Coughing
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Nothing. Haven't had lunch yet.
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Nice, a little cool, slightly cloudy.
HOW ARE YOU?: In progress.
---------------
---Do you...---
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Only did once, on a boat, in a storm, when I was young.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Doesn't everyone?
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Like anyone does.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: Love to drive, as long as I have good music playing....
---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
SHOW: 24! (Would've been Firefly, but Fox sucks)
SHAMPOO: Pert Plus.
CONDITIONER: See above.
BOOK: Either "Jhereg" by Steven Brust or "Hardwired" by Walter Jon Williams
MAGAZINE: CMJ New Music Monthly
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Sobe Tsuanmi/Liz Blizz
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Fence! Read! Attack the cat! Drive to friends without warning!
BAND OR GROUP: Right now, you mean? Uh... probably either Third Eye Blind or Something Corporate. Ask again tomorrow.
FEELING: Acceptance.
DOG BREED: Siberian husky.

-----------------
---Have you...---
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW: I fought the law, and the law did not win.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Debatable -- I'm in Cali and grew up in Nebraska, but I wouldn't say I ran.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: I plead the fifth. Of Jack Daniels.
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: Cell phones are the confessionals of the new millenium.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: We were all young once.
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: Not that young.
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: They told me to...
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Only on a college level...
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH?: I slept in the shower once. Nearly broke my damn neck, too.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: More than a couple. Student directed one.
CRIED IN PUBLIC: Naturally.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: That's what friends are for.

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: I'm straight, I can assure you of this.
GIRLFRIEND: British Magic 8-Ball sez: "Not bloody likely, you tosser."
VIRGINITY EXISTENT: It's regrowing.
CHILDREN?: None.
BEEN IN LOVE?: "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Recovering from someone like my ex-gf takes years.
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: Not for a while.
TOO SHY?: Sometimes. I can be a private person some days.
BEEN HURT?: Emotionally? You bet your ass. Over and over and over again. I'm starting to wonder if I'm an emotional masochist or something.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: I only say it when I mean it.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Vegas, baby, Vegas.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: Julie. (first and only -- i.e. the aforementioned ex-gf)
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Nope.

------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: Ayup.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: Depends on which player. The one in my room - "Rock Action" by Mogwai. The one in my car - "Self Titled" by Third Eye Blind. The one in my computer at work - "Issue 109 - Disc One" of CMJ Monthly.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: dark blue
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Being with my friends. Being loved. Being surprised.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Uh, the new Ataris album and the new Third Eye Blind album, I think, in March.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Joe, Greg, Erin, Christy, Lara, Liz, Dave, Greg U. and, of course, my man Willis! (Shout out to tha Omaha peeps!)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: What I'm not supposed to.
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE? Spectacularly, in front of millions, unforgettably.
-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...-
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: About a month ago.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: A physical letter? I got one from my grandma a while back.
YOU GOT E-MAIL: All the time, but spam shouldn't count.
THING YOU PURCHASED: Two bottles of Sobe Liz BLizz, a bag of chips and a roast beef/bacon sandwich.
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: 24 yo!
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

NOW PLAYING: Something Corporate - "Letters To Noelle"
Lyrics: "I emptied out my veins onto a page / Set to a scream you just can't gauge / She cannot see what's inside of me / But the driveway's clear / You pray for silence / Step into my quiet violence / Do you see pictures in my words? / Standing still, I'm moving faster / Searching out my next disaster / You're gonna get what you deserve..."

Quietform: See, here's the kind of thing I wonder about... say I did get into a car crash and go comatose for a while... not inconcievable, since it happened to ****. If I were comatose, who'd come visit? Who would stay with me while I was unconscious. Anyone?

Navidad 18: well, I'm unemployed in two weeks, so if it works out that way....

Quietform: Heh. It's not like I'm trying to go out and cause this to happen, so don't feel obligated to ram my car or anything.

Navidad 18: well, I like my car, and I despise when people decide to dent it, so I doubt that any planned collision is in your future

Navidad 18: I hear tell that's why they call them accidents

Quietform: So people tell me....

So please, email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because there is a sandwich in your future. Maybe not, today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

So ontop of everything else in life... the past few days have been just utter shit.

I am not going to go into the first of my problems. Lets just say that Greg and I had our first serious fight. We have had disagreements from time to time... btu never yelling and throwing things. The good part of this was that we got past it. I think we just needed the release.

Next, I found out LAST NIGHT on my way to class that my childhood dog had been put down on SATURDAY. In case you don't know... yesterday was TUESDAY. Why my family decided to wait 3 days to tell me something I think I deserved to know right away.. I will never know. I just know that I am broken up about it.

Then, I went to the doctor this morning to find out why the hell I have spider veins at age 21. I have been to 2 doctors previous this one. I went to this one hoping to get rid of them ( I am in agony almost constantly.) but he has now pushed me off onto another doctor.

I think it might be better to go into a comatose state and stay that way....

So The Animatrix will apparently be out June 2nd on DVD, just after the release of the second Matrix movie. The first bit of it is online to whet your appetite. Go. Watch.

Someone had to say something... Just a little post to keep the light going. I'm glad to see all the discussion in the religious thread. Makes me think I wrote something interesting. Anyhow, nothing much to say. Only a wave and a driveby... this song has been playing a lot lately. I enjoy it. Thankfully, their new album's out next month.

NOW PLAYING: Third Eye Blind - "Motorcycle Driveby"
Lyrics: "You're so serene. / Careening through the universe, / Your axis on a tilt, guiltless and free, / I hope you take a piece of me with you, / And there's things I'd like to do that you don't believe in, / I would like to build something, but you'll never see it happen, / And there's this burning, / Like there's always been, / And I've never been so alone... / And I've never been so alive... "

It's amazing, but I figured I was never going to talk about this on here, really. Still, in recent conversations, it's become evident that a few of you are wondering about what I believe in, spiritually. So today's talk is going to be about faith, and what it means to me. You may think you know what I'm going to say, but even if you think you know me incredibly well, some of the things I'm going to say here might surprise you.

A common misperception about me is that I'm a godless heathen. I have to confess, I find this a little humorous. It's usually someone who's interpretting something I say in a way differently than I meant it, or jumping to a conclusion from a small comment. So let's start by whittling down what I'm not so we can get to what I am. I'm not a Muslim. I don't know enough about the teachings of Muhammed (which I apologize if I've misspelled), but I do know I don't believe in prophets. The whole "talking to God" thing doesn't really vibe with me. I mean, I'm sure you can talk to God, but I'm almost positive that God doesn't talk back.

This, of course, means that I can't be Christian or Jewish. Not believing in prophets means that the majority (if not the entirity) of the Bible is right out, both Old Testament and New Testament. The story of Noah and his arc, Moses and the stone tablets, Jesus Christ the son of God ... I don't buy into any of that. I mean, it's a great story, don't get me wrong, but just because I think it's a wonderful story doesn't mean I believe in it. Paul Bunyan's a great story too, but the idea of being able to chop down an entire forest with one swing of an axe strikes me as a little far fetched. Thus, I can't really buy into the death/resurrection bit, the walking on water, the water into wine ... I mean, if you reject some of it, you pretty much have to reject all of it.

With that, I have to reject pretty much any religion that believes in interventionism. Now this isn't to say that I'm set in this belief -- far from it, actually. But as of right now, I have no reason to believe that God has ever intervened in my life or the lives of anyone I know. And, to be frank, if I did believe in interventionism, I'd have my doubts about God's motives, because life has been very hard at some points. Nothing I haven't come through, mind you, but everyone deserves respites from their struggles, even me. For all the negative, there should be equal positive. I don't believe in interventionism, but I believe in harmony and equilibrium. Go figure. Should God like to talk to me directly about this, I welcome the conversation. I might consider myself crazy should I have it, but then again, I might not. I like to think of myself as open minded, but talking to God is enough to make anyone question their sanity at least a little bit. But hey, if flaming letters appear in the sky, or things start happening that I can't explain, I will concede (or be REALLY crazy... )

I certainly don't believe in Creationism or some kind of Judgment Day, because I think those kinds of simplistic concepts lack the subtlty we've come to expect from anyone we think could build a world as complicated at this one. I'm still not sure what my thoughts on an afterlife are, because they tend to be in pretty rapid flux. Right now, I'm not expecting one, but I'm willing to concede that one might exist. It's a hard thing to judge, really, because once you're there, you can't come back to tell anyone about it. And if there isn't one, then there's no way to tell people that.

So now that we've covered what I don't believe, let's talk about what I do believe in. I do believe in God. I do. Right now, I think the God I believe in created Everything with a single spark and then moved on to another project, and is off doing something else somewhere else. Maybe God will come back, but I don't think so. And I'm more than willing to be wrong on this. Apparently, this kind of belief structure is called Deism, and puts me in the same category as some of the country's founding fathers. So that's alright.

Oh, and since you made it this far down, you should read the comments of the post below this one. Because it's been giving me endless mirth for almost an hour now. Seriously.

NOW PLAYING: The All-American Rejects - "Time Stands Still"
Lyrics: "I can barely breathe / Can you hear me scream? / O-o-o thrown in all directions / You epitome of perfection / She's lost her will, / time is standing still... / The way we are, the way we were / (It's just a shadow of what's wrong) / The time with you, the time is stirred / (I love you for so long) / The hearts they turn, they turn away / (she says to go please don't you cry) / Love lost was found, night turns to day / O-o-o thrown in all directions / You epitome of perfection / She's lost her will, / time is standing still... "

Long weekend, so tired....

So ladies, please email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com because aren't you tired of waiting for the right guy?

It's shit like this that makes me certain this world is going to hell in a handbasket...*sigh*

Click me, click me!

On a lighter note though that doesn't make sick as a human being Cartoon Network has .Hack//Sign currently airing (first ep showed today at 3pm) and the dubbing is done quite well. I applaud Cartoon Network for finally getting something that is of a subject matter just a little higher thought process intensive than the usual or repeats of the Gundam Series.

Please, sometime today, take a moment of silence to remember these seven names:

Colonel Rick D. Husband, Commander William C. McCool, Lieutenant Colonel Michael P. Anderson, Captain David M. Brown, Dr. Kalpana Chawla, Commander (Dr.) Laural Blair Salton Clark, Colonel Ilan Ramon

Our thoughts are with the loved ones of the crew of the Space Shuttle Colombia.

*sigh* Happy Chinese New Year, everyone...

So I'm in Rancho Cordova at Greg's LAN party. And I have just liberated from Cliff a piece of paper with a quote from a respected friend of his from high school. On it this friend explains the plight of our Touched Bachelor:

"He's attractive, intelligent and well-off. He's a nice guy. A bit geekish, but nice. And no friend of mine should be dancing stag. Take him off the market. Before he spoils..."


So ladies email TheTouchedBachelor@hotmail.com Because nobody wants to be alone for Valentine's Day.