I am so bored. I am incredibly bored. I mean, I'm so bored, I'm contemplating sleeping.

And I'm at work!

This never happens...

I'm going to go play with my sword now...

"Stop the world, I wanna get off..."

JOKE OF THE DAY:

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open, and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in formal dress. They run to greet him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven where St.Peter is waiting for him . . . "Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, choose the place where you want to spend eternity."

He reflects for a minute and then answers:
"Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator, and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now, the doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. And it's hot, hot, hot. Sweltering hot. Hot and miserable. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at the senator, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning . . . . . . today you voted for us."

Whoo! 10 seconds of pure bordem amounts to a 180 in the Smith's parking-lot with assistance of the E-Brake in front of a cop I notice once the car comes to a complete stop. Good shit I say. Thought I am rather disappointed I didn't get a full 360. Suuurrrreeeeee scared the shit out of a couple people though I'm sure (especially the guy on the bike who way the hell far away that snapped his head around like he had whiplash). Good shit....gooooood shit.....

Ugh. Got kicked in the face on Monday and my jaw still hurts. LEARN TO ROLL, DIPSHIT! When you roll backwards, you do NOT kick your feet STRAIGHT UP IN THE FUCKING AIR!

"This isn't the first time I've had sex under mystical influence. I did go to UC Santa Cruz."

I love my school. I love the Angel writers that went to my school even more. ^^

||QUOTAGE||

"In the beginning was the word ...
and the word was; 'OOPS!'
... followed closely by; 'BUGGER.'
... followed a short while later by the
term; 'OH, SOD IT.'

"This, I think, explains a lot about God,
and even more about Earth than anything I've
ever read or heard."

--(unknown)

For anyone looking for myself, Greg and Liz on FFXI, we're on the Phoenix server, HQd out of San D'Oria.

Oh hey look, Blizzard IS going to put out Act II and III of the Orc campaign... Huh. Go figure. They're only, what, 4-6 months late? But hey, who's counting...

So, it's one of the few days I'm glad I don't have a job to call in sick to... FFXI today... YUM. If you need me, the laptop will be on for access.

I seem to have a recent streak of riding in cars with strangers.

The first was a holocaust survivor that I had to pick up to speak at the college I work at. She said the trees on the Santa Cruz mountains reminded her of her native Czechoslavakia (that's much easier to spell now that it's two countries). She also got to provoke a Nazi doctor by asking "With all of those experiments you did on women during the war, how could you go home every night and make love to your wife?" and "How could you read bedtime stories to your children?" Makes you think.

The second was an older gentleman who was driving the Courtesy shuttle for the Toyota dealership. He was talking about what he'd do if he won the lottery. He wants to retire his family and take a motorhome across to the East Coast. He'd never been there. He doubts it'll happen. He also informed me that the people who won the latest jackpot had not only won the pot, but since they sold the ticket, they also get an additional 240,000. Makes you want to own a 7-11. Food for thought.

Hehehehe.... this is funny. You're reading this post, and it's marked at a time I can guarantee that I'm asleep... funny things we can do with this software, innit?

Sure... we're coming out of the depression.... Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Thanks Sony.

The monkey should stop referring to itself in the third person.

"The vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."

- George W. Bush

Monkey not lying. Monkey not misquoting. Monkey prove it.

Monkey's Xbox go boom. Not boot up good. Roommate pick up Xbox, shake. Hit with bone. Found H-spot. Monkey's Xbox work again. Monkey go play SSX again now. Monkey happy.

southern california is on fire! we have high temps, high speed warm winds, and less the 10% huminity. Life sucks and the smoke is going to kill me.

So, if you want to see pictures from the Ocean's 11 party I held Saturday night, head over to Real Life where Liz has posted some of them... it was a fun party.

"Why are we writing in italics all of a sudden?"

"The most thoroughly and relentlessly Damned, banned, exluded,
condemned, forbidden, ostracised, ignored, suppressed, repressed,
robbed, brutalized and defamed of all Damned things is the
individual human being. The social engineers, statisticians,
psychologists, sociologists, market researchers, landlords,
bureaucrats, captains of industry, bankers, governors, commisars,
kings and presidents are perpetually forcing this Damned Thing into
carefully prepared blueprints and perpetually irritated that the
Damned Thing will not fit into the slot assigned to it.
The theologians call it a sinner and try to reform it. The
governor calls it a criminal and tries to punish it. The
psychotherapist calls it a neurotic and tries to cure it. Still,
the Damned Thing will not fit into their slots."

- Robert Anton Wilson

"Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue..."

"Thank you for playing Church of England: Cake or Death?"

96.

Ninety fucking six degrees is the high today.

That's it. I'm moving to Seattle.

God help us all...SSX3...is fucking AWESOME.

Kaori and I are going to carve up the mountain. Oh yes, carve it up. Like a snowy turkey at thanksgiving.

NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I'm all for busting out the armor... but still, I don't miss snow by any stretch....

Hear, hear.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who actually ENJOYS overcast, cold weather. I think this whole thing is actually some conspiracy by the assholes who do the weather reports, to keep it constant so they never have to do any work. You ever notice how they view cloudy or rainy weather as the obstacle to get past? "Little bit of rainy weather, but TAKE HEART! Sunshine is on the way tomorrow!" I know it's irrational, but I actually feel angry with them when they say these kinds of things, like somehow their voicing a desire for that kind of weather influences it in some way. Someday I want to hear a weather reporter get on tv and say "Good news! Looks like HAIL! And Rain to follow! Patch of sun this afternoon, but luckily that'll pass, and the clouds will roll back in for the evening... "

Blah. Fuckin' heat.

I want to know when the f*** is that season known as Autumn going to hit us?

You know what the high is gonna be here this weekend???

87. 87 degrees farenheit. In OCTOBER.

This irks me.

Oh, hey, daylight savings ends this weekend, remember to do the whole Fall Back thing on the clocks.

Not that Fall actually exists. Nooooo... not in California...

So... I don't get to hear back until the end of next week about the interview I had yesterday.... GRRRR...

On top of that, I have another interview scheduled... for Nov. 4th... Why do interviews take so long to set up and then to decide whether or not they want to hire you?

*sigh*

Dom: In Japan, there will be a cosplay cafe, opening Sunday, called the Creamy Cafe. Am I the only person this sounds really wrong to?

renesis: nope

Dom: just checking

Poor ArsonPanda has waited and waited for the forecasted weather I predicted, which never transpired in his locale.

Poor, poor ArsonPanda.

"Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."

Wheeeee!!! I got a fun case of MASS hard drive corruption over the weekend from what I'll call a massive case of dumbass on my part. Being as how from what I can tell Windows 2000 Pro has an acute problem with hard drive corruption with Dell Laptops without a specific update I opted NOT to do when it was stareing me directly in the face a couple weeks earlier. Well at least it wasn't the HD going out on me thankfully (no bad sectors found or so the computer says). Hurahh for Microshaft and Dell!!!

*The poster takes no responsibility of his spelling since he still has to find his dayum Office disk.*

Round two interview tomorrow morning... hope for me.

Today's forecast...scattered genius with a chance of DOOM!!

Isn't it great when family and loved ones say a casual comment, completely not thinking about it, just bitching, and basically tells you he doesn't care about your entire college degree/field of study and everything you hope to achieve in life, and that no one gives a shit.

Yeah, fun times.

Cliff has a parrot.

The parrot totally knows how to get there...

New York, New York, it's a hell of a town...

This just hurts.

Funny as hell, but now I feel old...

Navidad 18: I hear your complaining about my sleeping habits
Sagus: huh?
Sagus: when did i do that?
Navidad 18: I get it, I'm a lazy ass because I just woke up 10 minutes ago
Sagus: what?
Sagus: what's cliff been telling you?
Navidad 18: only that you proposed marriage to him
Sagus: well, there is that.
Navidad 18: he said I could pick the flowers
Sagus: LIES!
Navidad 18: It's ok, I'm sure Liz will pick out a pretty dress for you
Navidad 18: as the maid of honor and all
Sagus: hehe

Uhm...my windows machine seems to be having troubles. Most likely the ram is fried or something...great, now I have to tear the thing apart to fix it...ah well.

That is a bad thing. Please give him my best...I hope he is out soon.

Vader's in the hospital.

Hmm...what makes me happy?

Multitudes of things. Having successfully moved into my new apartment. Getting to see my sister this weekend. Various things moving along better than I had anticipated. Good grades, accomplishing things, and being an all-around happy individual, despite the few (and admitedly piddling) complaints I have.

Yeah.

Now what do I have to say about that?

PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!!

Holy shit, Las Vegas made something good! Check out this new band, The Killers, go to Music, click on the "Mr. Brightside" single... hot damn! This song is incredible!

"I've been gone too long... I hope you don't mind.
I've been gone to long, but can I still come home?"

And if you don't know where that's from, too fscking bad. ^^

But I have been gone, and I swear, I get more and more paranoid the more I fly. I hated flying to Seattle, and the flight back just made me sick.

I'm not talking about the political stuff. I'm not informed enough, and I don't vote. I don't vote because I usually have no opinion. And such is the case now.

That, and politics are angry. And I'm too blah today to be angry.

Okay, so look... John Romero is back in the industry and he made Daikatana... can't someone just give me a job already?

hello all. this page is just full of complaints so I thought I'd tell you what pisses me off.






Okay so I have no current complaints. :) Oh well. talk to you all later.

I'm so freaking tired of statistics...a couple of classmates and I are sitting here in the CSUS computer lab working on it, and the crux of our problem is...Stationarity.

Yes, Stationarity. With a capital "S".

Fsck this shit.

I'd be okay if The White Stripes and The Strokes went away...

Some days I hate rock critics.

Hmmmm... interview felt like it went well. We'll see soon enough, I guess.

My DSL has returned to me. And there was much rejoicing. Yay.

In person interview tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Phone interview tomor... er, today. Let's hope it goes well.

Cliff's right. I am gonna post my thoughts. But since we already know that each of us differ in opinion, we're not gonna offend one another, so it's all well and good. :)

I think the recall was something that was really necessary for the state, if not the nation. Personally, I feel that for too long our elected officials have felt so secure in their offices that they forget what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. These people push and push to get into office, and once they're safe and sound in office, their job performance goes to shit.

Gray Davis is a perfect example of this. I can't speak about when he was first elected to office much, as I was 17 at the time (though I do remember him saying a lot about what he WASN'T going to do, as opposed to what he WAS going to do). However, last November, Davis initiated some pretty dirty tricks, and illustrated my point about empty promises. He talks about the budget like it's no big deal, and only he can handle it, and then, right after he gets elected (through what can be called a sham of an election, thanks to our choices), he starts telling the truth about the budget, and it's clear he doesn't have it under control. This is just one example of his career. I could go on.

The problem I have with it is this. When you hire an employee, you do so because it is understood that they will do their job to the best of their capability. If that person does not perform his job adequately, he is fired, or put on probation, or what have you. They don't just sit in their office all day and laugh at you (the boss) while you are required to pay them and keep them on staff. An elected official is chosen by us to do the job of their office, and if they don't perform their job adequately, they have to be held responsible. I heard an interview with an elected official right after the recall was slated to go ahead (sorry, can't remember who it was. I have a bad memory) who said "this recall sends a bad message to elected officials, saying 'watch your backs', and telling them they have to be held accountable for their actions." Well, no freaking shit, Sherlock! Welcome to the way our world works! You do something bad, you get the repercussions of it! Gee, how terrible!

Frankly, Gray Davis wasn't doing his job, and he's put this state deeper and deeper into shit, and the only solution is to kick the bum out of office and get someone else in there. Is there any guarantee that who goes into office is going to solve the problems? No. But Gray Davis has been in office for 5 years, and has done nothing to solve the out of control spending plaguing our state. He's worked against businesses by making it difficult for small business to succeed. And for crying out fucking loud, he signed a bill giving driver's licenses to ILLEGAL FUCKING IMMIGRANTS. And don't try to pull that "do you want unlicensed drivers on our roads?" bullshit. The problem isn't that they're driving without licenses, the problem is that they're ON OUR ROADS. I'm sick and fucking tired of this bullshit saying opponents of SB-60 are racist, and against immigrants. I love immigrants. That's what this nation is all about. It's the illegal fuckers that piss me off.

In short, something needed to give. Davis wasn't getting the job done, and it has to do with a basic personality deficiency. He doesn't have what it takes to govern California.

And as for Arnold becoming our governor, I know there are a lot of jokes to be made, but I think of all the people running, he really is the best person for the job. I consider myself a Republican, you can probably guess that. However, I'm not a conservative. Tom McClintock is a very right-wing conservative republican, and that's not what we need. I don't agree with a lot of the issues conservatives hold near and dear. I don't care about abortion. I don't think church should have anything to do with government. I am a thinking individual. Bustamante seemed to have a very thin veil over his intentions. He campaigned almost solely to hispanics. That's not any way to be a representative for a party that champions fighting racism. When I hear chants such as "No on Recall, Si Bustamante", I start to cringe. I understand a large percentage of people in California and other states speak only Spanish, but god dammit, this is not Quebec. I was pissed off at the bilingual ballot, because it made me do a double take every time i wanted to make a selection. Our street signs are in English. Our television is in English. God damn it, pick a fucking language and stick with it.

Ah, right... I was talking about Arnold. The guy's running as a Republican, but he seems to me to be much more of a moderate, nay, an independent. The fact that so many people supported him is indicative of this fact. Why else would so many democrats vote for a republican candidate? He's not a dumb guy like everyone makes him out to be. Most people probably get the impression that I'm a dumbass, but that's because I'm not usually in a position where intelligence is inferred. Arnold has been typecast in movies as a dumb strong man, but I think if given the chance in elected office, it's going to give him a chance to show what he can do. Have faith in the man.

Alright. I'm done. I promise. :) *takes another swig of Geikkekan before bed*

It's official... the governor has been terminated....

I'VE GOT A JOB! WOO HOO!!!!

So, the recall.

I know Greg's going to respond with his thoughts on it, but I'm going to pretend like I don't know that's coming and just write my personal thoughts on the matter.

Here's the thing: A recall's a bad idea, no matter how bad the things Gray Davis has done. Have we caught him doing anything illegal yet? Nope. Sure, he's done some things people don't agree with, but what politician hasn't? Do people not like him? Apparently. So you don't reelect him. That's what you do.

If we can recall a governor, can we recall a congressman? Can we recall the President? (Actually, that bit doesn't sound that bad, but still...) How fast do politicians have to answer to us? In a place where we were complaining about term limits not even a decade ago, now we want to be able to pull our politicians out when they make one decision we don't agree with.

It scares me a little, a world where snap judgment becomes policy and people can change the world overnight because they don't agree with one thing...

And besides... do we really want the Terminator as governor? It certainly makes us look even sillier than Minnesota did...

Greg's prayers have been answered. Tears for Fears has reunited.

Oh, good luck on the interview. =P

It's honestly not hate. It's more of a rather heavy differing of world views, and what I feel is a lack of respect for mine. I'm willing to disagree with people, but disagreements lead to discussions. Not anger. Shit, this isn't even worth me getting angry over. I find it hysterical that people think I'm angry. You can't hear me laughing but boy, I wish you could...

I'm not a pessimist. I will deny it. I'm a cynic. There is a VERY fundamental difference.

pes·si·mism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ps-mzm)
n.
1. A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view: “We have seen too much defeatism, too much pessimism, too much of a negative approach” (Margo Jones).
2. The doctrine or belief that this is the worst of all possible worlds and that all things ultimately tend toward evil.
3. The doctrine or belief that the evil in the world outweighs the good.

cyn·ic ( P ) Pronunciation Key (snk)
n.
1. A person who believes all people are motivated by selfishness.
2. A person whose outlook is scornfully and often habitually negative.
(alt) Cynic A member of a sect of ancient Greek philosophers who believed virtue to be the only good and self-control to be the only means of achieving virtue.

I'm not upset about it. In fact, I find it rather amusing. All things don't ultimately tend towards evil. You honestly think I believe that? Jesus, do people listen to me when I talk about force of will, and how the strong survive? How can I be a pessimist when I'm habitually talking about how great my friends are? I'm not going to get into a pissing contest of "whose life is worse" with him. You know why? It's not worth it. Fine, you think your life is more awful, I'll let you have that if that's what you want.

I'm more concerned that I'm not understood as a person, or that people's perception of me doesn't mesh and align with my own. If I had to simply it down, I'm more of an entropist.

en·tro·py ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ntr-p)
n. pl. en·tro·pies
1. Symbol S For a closed thermodynamic system, a quantitative measure of the amount of thermal energy not available to do work.
2. A measure of the disorder or randomness in a closed system.
3. A measure of the loss of information in a transmitted message.
4. The tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve toward a state of inert uniformity.
5. Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society.

And despite all of that, I still write things like "I am walking a path of my own choosing and while it's not often easy or fun, it is the path I have chosen, and from that I can draw all the strength I need." I repeatedly talk about how through force of will people can overcome odds and survive strife.

So yeah, I'll deny I'm a pessimist. As I was trying to point out before, the world isn't any better or worse than it was before -- it's just changing. And if I don't like the direction it's changing, I, as a member of the human race, have every right to try and change it some another direction. No one has to agree with me. Hell, people can fight me if they like. That's what we call societal change. But I pull through. I survive.

sur·vive ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sr-vv)
v. sur·vived, sur·viv·ing, sur·vives
v. intr.
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere: families that were surviving in tents after the flood.
3. To remain functional or usable: I dropped the radio, but it survived.

That's me. I'm a survivor. And that's a good thing.

As for calling him an ass, yeah, that's a bit of anger coming out, but mainly a reaction I think to being called one at the start. It's not the best way to start an argument.

Anyhow, that's it for THIS rant. I'll be back in a few hours to rant about the California Recall, in an attempt to give the masses something they can respond to and get interested in, instead of a discussion of philosophy between a so-called optimist and a non-pessimist cynic.

Wow.

I was just going to do a little post consisting of : "I have job interview this afternoon. Help me. >_<"

What do you do when it seems like two of your best friends hate each other?

Cliff, you are a pessimist. It's the truth, don't deny it. "Merle" is an optimist, and your complete opposite. I'm not getting involved further, except to say that neither of you is wrong, but neither of you is right either. That's the definition of an opinion. Can we not have this escalate into a war, and just leave it at a heated debate?

And the calling each other assholes? Not cool. Just makes it so you're both right.

Yay! Holding down Shift when you insert an audio CD is now a violation of the DMCA! Lets welcome our new RIAA overlords =)

So I had a comment in one of the comments section that I wanted to respond to, and I couldn't cram my response into 2500 words. Here is his comment and my reply.

His comment:
Oct 05 2003, 10:55 am


Whoa.

You need to take a chill pill. You are seriously, what is clinically being called, "being an ass".

See, no one wants to tell you how to live your life and no one wants to tell you how to feel or how to cope. It's just that... well... no one wants to be around you when you're not living your life or not coping.

It has nothing to do with 9/11. Looong before 9/11... no one wants to be around someone who is not nice. It's called being happy. You're just mixing ideas around using political reasoning to justify your not too enjoyable behavior.

It's not about being sheep. It's about not being an ass. It's not about conforming. It's about learning social ettiquite. People are not blind, they just choose not to be jaded. No one ever asks you not to do anything... just don't drag us into your sorry ass world if you're having a bad day.

You don't realize it yet but being human means being social. And when you go on huge ass rants like that where you feel like you have the right to be the way you are, just also remember, people who want to lift you up because they're happy also tend to be brought down because you're sad.

And that's when the world becomes a sad place.

It comes with caring. I guess you don't care.


Merle


My response:
"So, not only were you oblivious to EVERYTHING I wrote, you didn't actually read any of it. You thought I was in a bad mood and tore off on a rant for no apparent reason. Sorry sir, but you are the ass here.

People who are happy all the time don't understand the real world. If you honestly believe that being happy all the time will let you go through life well, I wish you the best in your innocence and don't really want to be around you when you crash. And you will crash.

Did you actually read what I posted? Any of it? Or did you get caught up on parts that fit into your very narrow perception of me?

The point of my "rant" as you liked to call it, isn't that the world is bad or good. If you missed that, you missed everything I wrote. Go back and reread it. No. Honestly. I'll wait.

Read it again? See that I'm juggling not just a point against one person, but several seperate threads? See that I'm just reacting, but in fact using it as a jump off point to talk about other things that were bothering me? See that I'm not just talking about what I got from a new age piece of email, but in fact what the entire nation is going through? I choose to talk about this mainly because I look at the world, not just my own life. I believe in being part of the massive social collective and not allowing my own vision to taint that.

I'm a part of the world. I am not THE world. And neither are you.

You want everyone to think like you. Go read your comment again. It's "conform, conform, conform." It's "I'm right, you're wrong." I don't, in all honesty care if you're right or wrong. It doesn't impact me. I'm me, not you. And you, quite frankly, know jack shit about me.

You didn't read the part of my post where I wrote "I am able to make my own decisions. I know who and what in my life to value and why. I am walking a path of my own choosing and while it's not often easy or fun, it is the path I have chosen, and from that I can draw all the strength I need." Strength. Go read that again. Strength. I didn't say the path is a bad one. If you chose to think I was saying that, that's your misstep and not mine.

I'm not "having a bad day." I'm living life. It's not all up and it's not all down either. I never said life was bad. You're trying to read in what you want to see again instead of letting me speak for myself. Stop that.

My point, if you really care to hear it, is that life is about embracing not only your highs but your lows. You need to learn to adapt to all of your life instead of trying to force everything into becoming what you want it to. Because you can't control your entire life. You cannot. If you choose to try, I wish you well, and I'll see you when you break. Closing your eyes and saying all is well is a fool's errand. Am I saying you're doing that? No, but that's what you're suggesting I do with your comment.

I am a social person. You don't know that, of course, because I'm not social with you. I keep in contact with my friends. You should try talking to them and seeing what they say. They'll probably tell you you're talking out of your ass.

Was I a little upset when I wrote that post? Sure. I was one step away from being evicted from my apartment, I had barely eaten anything in three days and I was having trouble handling things. So yeah, the email hit me the wrong way, and I probably over reacted a bit. But I'm entitled to do that from time to time. And I asked forgiveness from the person who it was important to - Liz. You? You apparently didn't even understand my post, so I don't intend to apologize to you.

You think that I don't care? Then you really don't know me. If I didn't care, I wouldn't write at all. I'd go off and live by myself away from people. But I communicate with the world and I share my opinions. They aren't always right, but they aren't always wrong either. In fact, truth be told, they're never right OR wrong -- they're opinions.

I personally think your opinion on this matter is a crock of shit. You think that that people have to be jaded or blissful, and fail to see anything in the middle.

Do you know what I call people who are happy all the time? Drug addicts. They're lost in the blissfulness of oblivion and fail to look around them. Accepting that life isn't all wonderful isn't defeatist. Knowing that you can't be happy all the time doesn't make you jaded. Whether or not you want to admit it, you do learn from pain. You do learn from suffering. You do learn from being challenged. You do learn from taking risks. You do learn from handling situations that don't make you happy.

You could honestly do with listening to a few of the modern philosophers. Go listen to some George Carlin. Go listen to some Bill Hicks. Go listen to Lenny Bruce. Go listen to Richard Pryor. Go listen to John Leguizamo. Go expand your world view.

Being a realist isn't being jaded, and I don't find it a bad place to be. I just choose not to let someone blow sunshine up my ass when I'm struggling to stay afloat. I choose not to let someone tell me that a positive attitude can keep me from losing my apartment, my possessions, my livlihood, my very life. And this doesn't mean I have a bad attitude. I'm still alive and still going, and I feel pretty good about that. I've come through the strife and I've endured. Have my friends helped? You're goddamned right they have. And for that I thank them. But when they're going through something troubling and they don't want help, I respect that. I tend to work with my friends, not against them. I adapt to the good AND the bad. I don't ignore the bad.

You cannot have light without darkness. You cannot have happiness without sadness. You cannot have good without evil. You cannot have glee without having frustration. You can't have one without the other. Otherwise how can you compare it to anything? Talking about this with you, however, often seems like a waste of breath. It's like talking to a religious zealot. "God just IS." Have your faith and your ignorance. If that's what you really want, that is.

Me? I live in the real world. You should come visit it sometime.

~d.

P.S. Don't say I'm talking semantics and not making any real point. I saw that coming before you even read what I wrote this time. *smirk*"

I'm just going to stick to jokes I suppose. =0(

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him.

Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again & the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.

As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its right paw to strike him....he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"

Time stopped.......
The bear froze.......
The forest was silent............
Even the river stopped moving.

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around,

GOD SPOKE:
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? "AM I TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light & said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"VERY WELL," said GOD.

The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed...
AND the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive, Amen"

Due to sickness, any sort of partying for me has been delayed.

Well I was teasing when I said "Yelled" or almost any of the stuff in that post. It was all teasing. I thought you would have seen I was in a good mood from the first few lines. I was asking joking questions. But I am sorry if you took that as me trying to attack you in some way. It wasn't meant to be.


Next, some of us are going through very emotional times in their lives where nothing seems to bring them up from the depression that they are in. In fact, medication isn't even helping. So every once in awhile people need happy inspirational things to make them want to get up in the morning. I didn't agree with alot of the things said in that letter, but some things hit true to home. I think of you as a good friend who has hit a low in his life at the moment, and maybe needed some of the inspiration. I'm sorry if you didn't see the lines that were sort of touching. I am sorry that it didn't help but did the opposite.

It was a misunderstanding.

That would be faaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr too eaisy =P

Not to overstate the obvious, but those parties interested in other parties should contact those parties directly. That is all.

Just for those that wish to be on the "down low" as the "hip kidz" say I’ve known Cliff quite a while before anyone else here and I was one of the first he bounced the idea of this off of if I’m coherently thinking. Funny how I originally thought this whole group blog thing was a horrid waste of time I could never really enjoy. Still a waste of time but it's enjoyable none-the-less usually. It's always nice though that people actually feel that our insignificant, random, and fairly pointless lives are significant enough for them to read let alone COMMENT on. If people feel our blog is with something? Cool! If not? Fine by me! I never knew who they were before they posted into our comments on here or cared and I still won't after they leave. Don't let the door hit ya where [insert your god with a bigger dick here] split ya! I'll keep doing my thing and living my life without someone else's opinion's on my life.


Though this is a blog. People are never consistent. It's not fun that way. Consistency is for utilities of which haven't been all that consistent that lately as many people on the East Coast and those in California could tell you some time ago or can some still? It's kind of hard to keep on stuff going on there with the circus going on there.


I have never understood why many people get so irritated by something someone else says though. Hell I should know. I get irritated by some of the utterly moronic things people say and rarely been able to say that blowing off steam at said person has made me feel better or that the steam was really legitimate, but it sure has made me feel good a couple times like painting someone’s truck a new color with paintballs for reasons that wouldn't make sense the next day.


And what the hell is this that people are all up in shits about with "self help?" I know I'm stealing this from a comedian whos name begins with "George" and ends with "Carlin," but screw you I will steal it because I was thinking it before I heard it. Once you tell someone what your problem is or read a self help book it is no longer self help and that help is a fraud the moment someone calls that brand of help, self help because people want the delusions that they actually helped themselves. Though it could just be my psychotic delusions there because after all. Sanity is only what the majority of people think of as sanity.


I have been pretty intrigued with many peoples fetish with wanting to be as perfect as they can be to the point of asking others what their flaws are. Asking people such questions have never lead to a good thing. You just end up in the end being pissed at the person that said you have a problem. It's not a whole lot of fun being around people though that are attempting to be a Mother Teresa. It's probably like being around her. Damn boring and you'll be looking for the escape hatch at 1,000 feet without a parachute. But everyone has to crack eventually when they try to nice and it's even less fun to be around them when they do crack. Even worse than when they were treeing to put themselves into the books as one of the nicest people in the known universe. But Have fun, cause friction, kill a kitten, fire a BFG, and run like hell.

Yell? Well, I didn't mean to yell. And I'm sorry that I rained on your parade, Liz. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I'm not really in the mood for "motivational" things right now. I apologize if the email touched you, Liz, but it didn't touch me. In fact, all this motivational crap is starting to just piss me off. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just crotchety, old and mean. Maybe I'm too harsh, too mean and all the other horrible things I've heard said about me over the years. But you know what? I guess I'm just too mean to care.

I don't need someone else telling me how to live my life, or how to feel. I don't need someone to tell me how to cope with pain, or suffering, or frustration. I don't need someone to tell me how to handle heartache, or agony, or loss. I don't need someone telling me how to reflect on a great tragedy. I don't need someone telling me how to honor my friends. I don't need someone trying to live my life for me.

See, this is one of the reasons I get frustrated with "self-help." We're attempting to dehumanify the human experience. Everything has to be saturated down and removed to a simplistic, primitive, safe experience. Welcome to the real world, folks. It's harsh, it's brutal and it ain't all pretty. There are awful things happening around the world, the country is still in recession (even if we're starting to show signs of getting out of it) and Dubya is still president of this country.

But despite all of this, I am able to make my own decisions. I know who and what in my life to value and why. I am walking a path of my own choosing and while it's not often easy or fun, it is the path I have chosen, and from that I can draw all the strength I need.

Post 9-11 America has become, in my opinion, an awful place. We're struggling to regain all that we lost, but by that I don't mean the people we lost, or the property that was destroyed -- I'm talking about the strike to freedom.

Everyone wants us to feel a specific way, to think a specific way. We're going from a consumer culture to a sheep culture. Bleet on, folks, and keep listening to what ever the sheepherder tells you to -- I'll be over here jumping the barbed wire fence.

I'm sorry that I wasn't touched by your email, Liz, but I guess I'm one of those people who is rarely touched by things anymore. And the email seemed incredibly judgmental. These are awful times? When has time *not* been awful? Every moment in time is apparently the worst time that there has ever been. Thanks, but I'll trust Charles Dickens when it comes to time "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." That time, like all time, is now.

Other points I disagreed with? How about "Keep only cheerful friends"? Fuck that. I'm sorry if I'm a grouch and that means people don't want to be my friend, but you know what? I'm not into looking at the world and only seeing good. Anyone who looks at only half of the world is blind, in my opinion. How about "Don't take guilt trips"? Never feel guilty? What if you've done wrong? Is it okay not to feel guilty about that? Screw that. People who do wrong should be made to feel guilty about it, and they should learn from their guilt. Guilt is an essential human emotion. Sure, you shouldn't let it dominate your life, but you shouldn't try and ignore your guilt either. Like all emotions, it has its place. Trying to remove that place will remove a piece of who you are.

I don't need someone who has never met me telling me how to live my life. I have my friends for that. And even though I let my friends tell me what they think I'm doing wrong, I don't always listen to them. Again, it comes back to that most basic of things I have -- judgment. Timothy Leary once wrote "Think for yourself. Question authority." More accurate words, in my mind, have never been written.

It's nothing against you, Liz, but I've had it with New Agey BS that tries to tell me humans are both wonderful and awful. I knew that before they told me, and I'll know it long after those people are gone. The email was condescending, preachy and smug. And everyone knows that while I can tolerate these things from time to time, I don't like them being misattributed on top of all of that. And all I did was correct you on where the email came from, not yell at you about it. For that, you had to tell me that I yelled at you to see what it's really like when I'm crossed. Nothing personal, Liz, and I'm not mad at you, but I don't need some faith healer to tell the world is crazy.

I have my own eyes for that.

Me thinks that no one reads this blog anymore. We don't have as many comments as we once did.

What happened to Erin? One day she thinks she is stupid, the next she is happy about a job interview.

What is going on in Cliff's realm?

When is the house warming party for Keith? Sat or Sun?

Why did we give Dave access to this blog? hmmmmm? JK!

Christy, how is the house hunt going?

Oh BTW! Cliff yelled at me today for passing along a very touching e-mail to him. In the text it said that it was written by George Carlin. Well it obviously WASN'T written by George Carlin. It just didn't have his flavor. But I send it on to Cliff anyways because I care about him and I think he would feel that it had some really good points to it. And what does Cliff do? He sends me a reply and says,

" Not, in fact, George Carlin...

http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarlin/home/dontblame.html

Cliff Hicks "

He missed the truly beautiful part of the entire e-mail and YELLED at me about it!!!!! That's the last time that I share something that almost makes me cry with Mr. Cliff Hicks! No no.. I am just going to keep sending you pictures of guys with their ball sacks hanging out and penis trees. THAT'S ALL!

Anyways... my mind was running in circles yesterday (this is why I'm prone to over-think everything.) and I wanted to ask if there was anything that any of you truly disliked about me. Albeit everyone has their quirks that sometimes cause friction, but I just want to make sure that I'm not going to end up like my sister. She has a terrible temper and everyone just "puts up" with her because she is family, but they never say anything to her that might make her realize this. I want to be remembered as one of the sweetest women that anyone has ever met. The kind that would make you chicken soup if you were sick or give you good advice from the heart. Isn't that anyone's dream? I don't even have to be as angelic as all that. I just don't want to pass away someday and be remembered as "the bitch".

I have a Jurry Summons I have to go in to get excused from by a judge. Whee...

Now the real pisser is that I could have gotten excused from it back on Sept 30th eaisily over the phone. New laws went into efffect though on the 1st the "fucktards" at City Hall passed that went into efect on the 1st and it's the 2nd!!! Would this not piss anyone else off here or is it just me here? Besides the fact that I would have happily done this during my oh...6 months of unemployment, but I go off, get employed, finally got some sanity back, going to school and now they give me a summons that I can't get out of over the phone for damn legitimate reasons. Now I get to waste a day of time I need now? WTF!?!?!?

I'm sick. Again. Whee....

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

....I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

.....To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666. For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3:16. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics. Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day.

Heres a map everyone should enjoy!!!

Heh...I remeber where my sanity went when I had that kind of CS job *shudder*

Bets? =P