I found something I did awhile back and have decided to share it with you all:

RVH.jpg

Found it! It's Gilbert Gottfried doing Ice-T's bit!

So I watched the first two episodes of Prison Break last night. So far I like the show, although the pacing's a little funny. The main character's playing up the whole dark and mysterious act, which seems to be serving him pretty well. We've seen bits and pieces of the conspiracy and we know the guy he's gone to break in is at least partially being set up. I'm going to follow the show for a while and see how it goes. If it's good enough, I'll stick with it. I like it thusfar, but it's not a hook, line & sinker.

This story continues to crack me up...

I blame everything on the recession.

So I have returned from The North (I was in Seattle and Canada for latter part of last week). Upon my return, I try to start my car, which was left at my brother's house for safe keeping. Said car will not start. Said car chugs like an outboard motor. But AAA was kind enough to jump me, and now I sit at Sean's house with Cliff's cat in my lap, waiting for the battery to charge enough to let me go to Sears and buy a new one.

Whee.

P.S. The North is pretty.

Okay, I guess there is some justice in the world. Even if it's not institutional.

So here's a funny story.

Ben and I were in Minnesota and were driving back, so I could make it to school by 8 AM on the 23rd. Poor Ben ends up going from Reno to Sacramento doing 80 the whole way at midnight, nearly getting run over by semis in an attempt to get me there on time. I end up taking a really early train to Berkeley from Sacramento. I rush to class, because I'm running late, to find no one there. Confused, I search for a computer-- someone might have emailed a room change. The libraries are closed, though they should be open at 8. I am confused. I go back to my apartment, check my schedule. The room is right. Scared now, I go and check the student calendar.

The semester begins August 23. INSTRUCTION begins August 29.

I fail at life =(

45 minutes on the phone with Sprint customer service to find out exactly how many minutes (209) it takes for my account to go over my credit limit and pay part of the balance so that I can continue to use my phone regardless of the fact that I'm on a new billing cycle. Things I've learned:

Apparently it takes three people to get anything done.

A southern accent just sounds patronizing when the representative can't do anything.

Once the problem is solved, they want you to talk with retention to see if you want to sign a new two-year contract.

When you tell them that between this experience and the fact that your brother can't upgrade his handset because of their rules even though the phone in question is 4 years old and he has to go in EVERY OTHER DAY to a Sprint Store to get a new battery you don't want to continue with them, they're "very sorry".

I liked Sprint. I really did. I recommended people to them. But it's sad that when you have to call in to a company to find out that your account is over and then have to spend your time on the phone trying to figure out how to pay them, something's up.

I have experienced and learned that the ultimate pleasure and thusly ultimate sin in life comes from experiencing good pasta, good tequila, a cigar, and a good woman all within the time frame of one warm late summer's night.

Holy crap, someone actually printed this?

I have no words.

Rafael Palmeiro tests positive for steroids, and he gets a ten-game suspension.

A batboy who drank a gallon of milk in less than an hour and vomited? Suspended for six games.

And people wonder why I'm so sarcastic.

Eight hours of sleep, I'm fine. Seven hours of sleep, no problem, I can regularly handle that. Six hours of sleep, might be a little groggy, but I'll survive.

Five hours of sleep, like now? Practically dead on my feet, grumpy, miserable and self-loathing. What a world.

Why would a truck need a spoiler on it's back end? I could understand the tie-down necessity, but they have racks for that. I was in Milpitas today and saw an orange Dodge Ram with one of these. I was confused, then attempted to take a picture with my cell, which was full.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

In other news, there will be a new Devious up tomorrow. No idea what it looks like -- it's sitting in my gmail account right now and I can't look at it, as I'm at work.

Good lord... do you realize this is post #1701? We've done a lot of posting in our time...

Speaking of posting... I'm turning into the Lewis Black of video game commentary... My head will explode sooner or later.

R.I.P. - Ashes, Beloved pet.

1989-2005

When I was younger, I had a deathly fear of German Shepards. I think I was eight or nine, at a kid named Mark Fisher's house. His house was attached to a textiles factory of some kind -- carpetting I think, but I'm not really sure. They lived in Carter Lake, which was across the river, in Iowa. In the factory/house, they had a German Shepard that was the meanest thing ever. It barked and I'd see it chewing meat off of steaks out back. It was the guard dog, I was told, and it was trained to attack strangers. Once the dog got into the house while Mark and I were there, and the dog chased me up on top of an exercise bike. I'd climbed up it and onto a dresser to get away from the dog, terrified for my life. From then on, I was terrified of German Shepards. Any time I'd see them, I'd freeze up, like I wanted to run but just couldn't make my legs go, like I was that scared little kid again and this time the dog was going to maul me. It's been something I'd had with me for a long time.

This morning, a guy was out walking his dog, a German Shepard, and he let go of the leash by accident. I crouched down and grabbed the leash and the dog looked at me then dutifully trotted over to me with a stupid "You caught me" look on his face and licked my hand. I petted the dog while the owner ran over to me, and the man thanked me a great deal.

I guess somewhere along the line, I got over my fear of German Shepards, and I just never knew it until I was confronted with one. I wonder if all fears are like that, and for all people.

----

In other news, you've probably noticed I brought the old site design back. Any comments made while we were on the other system have been lost. Tough shit. I'm still looking forward to seeing new site designs soon. Because I can go back to that other thing any time.

Well, for future reference, driving from San Jose to SF in non-rush hour traffic takes a little over an hour. I overslept this morning (partially because I woke up in the middle of the night from a horrible, horrible dream and had trouble getting back to sleep) and there was no way in hell I was going to make a train, so I drove into the city and paid for parking. Whee. But oh well,I guess that means I don't have to leave exactly at a specific time today. Blah.

So it's rush hour on 101. I'm a past 84, so traffic is going along at a relatively brisk 45 miles an hour. I'm about to get on the 85 onramp when I notice this rapidly approaching spot in my rear view--it's a big red Explorer, weaving like crazy and trying to kiss my rear bumper. Aggravated a little, I ease off the gas (speed of traffic was about 50, I kept doing 45) and the guy quickly veers off into the left lane. Where the driver to my left looks at me, then drops from going 50 to 45. Which traps the asshole Explorer behind him and next to me.

I decide to play a little bit.

I speed up to about 55, to close the gap to the car in front of me. I pull about half a car length ahead of the guy on my left...

and the Explorer instantly changes lanes and hits the gas.

So I slow to 45, while the guy on my left speeds up to around 55 or so, and pulls about a car length ahead of me. And of course, the Explorer, which is almost touching my car, peels left.

The driver to my left slows... and I speed up a little...

I almost regretted having to take my exit and cease my tormenting of that ass.

Does this make me a bad person, or just a jerk?

For the record, Vertigo majorly sucks. Any time where you can't even walk up stairs without feeling like you're going to topple over, that's bad m'kay? I felt fine this morning, but the super imbalance was not good... I wonder if it's related to the bad cucumber I had a bit of for lunch on Wednesday. I go into subway and usually they use fresh cucumber, but when I got back into the office to have some, man, one bite and I knew it was terrible. So I picked the rest off. But I figured everything was fine. Then late last night, without really any warning, at about 9 p.m., my head goes all swimmy. No headache, no pain, just total disorientation and vertigo. So I moved upstairs and laid down, hoping it would go away in a few minutes. After about an hour, still being so dizzy that standing sounded bad, I turned off the light and went to bed. When I got this morning, all was back to normal. Freaky.

Hey, I didn't miss my nieces, and that's all that matters. So meh!

OMFGWTFBBQ!!!111one If I could do layouts, I would do one NOW. But I can't. Maybe if I poke Ben enough with a stick he'll make us one.

To all those who made it to the party: Thanks. It was awesome.

To all those who didn't: You HELLA missed out, Dom.

Otherwise, life moves on.

What the hell is going on in here?!

ALL HAIL WOAD!
http://woad2.ytmnd.com/

..meh, my pic is still busted after all this time. Teh Suck.

My eyes! My eyes!!!

A couple days in this boring ass layout should inspire people to create us something new...

Sorry I didn't make it to the festivities on Saturday, but in a fight between distant friends and my nieces, the nieces usually win.

You mean the Nigerians really don't have ANY of my money? Man, and I needed that $6.9 million, too...

In other news, I'm debating literally killing this site design and slapping up one of the boring templates that Blogger gives to us if no one steps forward and does a redesign soon. Maybe I'll tweak their template a little bit, but believe me when I say the designs are pretty boring, so if you want a crack at it, let me know soon...

Peter Jennings died of lung cancer Sunday. It's a shame, too, as he always struck me as the most open, honest and affable of the big three.

Ben's party has been survived.

That's no moon! It's a... well actually, it is a moon. But it could be a SPACE STATION!

Just a reminder (since it is now off the page) there is the combined birthday parties of Yuko and myself this Saturday (the 6th) at our apartment in Rancho Cordova. Give me a call if you need directions (916-768-0563 - I posted my phone number after all).

In other news, scientists have discovered that my wang is in fact strong, large, and fierce. Side effects may include nausea, rectal and vaginal bleeding, sore mouth, and exhaustion. However, users of my wang have experienced higher levels of happiness and excitement in comparison to the placebo test group. Please talk to your doctor about whether my wang is right for you.

There is a new Devious up. I'll be writing a newspost sometime today.