Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

And the sad thing is, I said the fruit fucker part myself.

I'm considering it a form of self-flagellation. I'll be going to heaven later.

At least, I'm going to drink some more. Those two could go together. I'd have to check.

Erin is now the virgin orange... feel free to make all the fruit fucker jokes you want.

So the alcohol has been poured and our keys have been taken away. Either this is a party or its some kind of cult meeting. I hope its the latter.

I have to apologize for the lack of web cam this year. No funny movies this time I guess.

I have to save Cliff from taking off his clothing with the bottle of Southern Comfort. I'll be back later.

Well, the party started an hour ago and I just got out of the bedroom....

There's nothing I can do to save that sentence, is there?

Last minute New Year's prep! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ah yes, the wonderful things of my home college town...

So I'm here in Japan, and my roommate is afraid of the toilet, which sings, sprays water at your ass or something. But the best thing so far has been... KOUSHIEN! The baseball fanboy in me drooled all over the hallowed ivy of Japan's most sacred field, and that's been the highlight of my trip so far.

Oh, and my travel mate, who's been to Japan 4 more times than me, is almost useless when it comes to finding our way around. I'm better than him, and I've never seen maps of the city until now. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I love the fact that you can IM an old friend out of the blue and it turns out they're leaving for basic in a few hours. Life's funny that way. But at least you get that opportunity to catch up before another six months pass. Good luck to you my friend.

Whose Line Is it Anyway? offers such wonderful answers... such as the German version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
"Qvuestyun: Vat is 2 plus 2?
A) 7
B) SHUT UP YOU PIG!
C) I vould like to invade Poland.
D) 4"

I think everyone knows I would like to invade Poland....

A few hours until I head off to Japan.

But before I leave you, I'd like to direct your attention to this.

And no, I didn't make that up. Peace out, and happy new year!

So I'm at work, sitting at my desk reading an email from my boss to my work account reminding me that I'm required to take off the last week of December.

Why doesn't anyone tell me this before I come into work?

I disappeared off the face of the earth for a day or so (stupid transdimensional portal of DOOM!), so forgive the lateness:

Happy Birthday Liz! ^^

Happy of the birthday to the Liz of the Vans and the Buskirks...

Or is it Happy with the birthday to Liz, from the Buskirks who are wearing Vans?

I forget... either way, you know, thing...

You won't play that game since you know you forgot, but you want to pretend you remembered.... see I know what you're pulling! You can't fool me!

Right, Liz would come back and post just to see if any of us would remember that it was her birthday. Well, I'm not going to play that that game.

Well, I just trimmed Maverick's claws for the first time. I think he's a little annoyed by it, but knowing him, he'll recover in 10-20 minutes.

Oh, I'm back in Cali.

Hey guys! Look at me! I'm not dead. All that wishing that I was dead... I guess it didn't work. Better luck next time!

Oh and Merry X-mas! <--- is a little slow

Happy New Year! <--- is a little early

*waits*

OH dear Lord!

Mal naked!! O_O

Merry Xmas, kids. ^^

Time for more Zelda goodness... Mmmmm, GameBoy...

Shortly before my breakout of snow country, I crawled to an internet connection to wish you all Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. Now, time for a prison break...

Merry Christmas to you all. May your days be happy and your hearts know joy. May life be fruitful, fulfilling and above all fun.

Good night, and dream happily.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

to those who are interested, I am working on new years so I will not be able to come play. sorry :(

My most random quote yet: "Brooke Bourke's Ass took me completely by surprise!"

Appleseed makes me feel better..

Obscenity laws in this day and age? Fuck that...

Man, one interview and Dom gets a job... a dozen interviews and I haven't gotten shit in a handbag... Remind me why I'm not rioting yet?

Right, well then.

Now that I am no longer so sick I can hardly even muster up the will to play final fantasy xi, I'll go ahead and say something funny.

I have now written 5 comics about eating Blueberry Pancakes. Not just pancakes, without the capital "p", but Blueberry Pancakes. A Tall Stack at that. "Piled high, with not 3, nor 4, not even 5, but 6 thick, round, piping-hot cakes of griddle-ey goodness, it is most formidable to even the most seasoned of breakfast-warriors."

Indeed, "no greater feast has been breakfasted upon by man."

Crap.

Now I'm hungry.

Well, for the next six months at least, I'm Wired Magazine's product monkey.

I find this immensly hilarious, true or not

Monkey go to Chevy's last night. Friend ask nice lady to make balloon puppy hat. Lady make balloon animal magnum opus. Lady get bigger tip than waiter. Puppy hat far away. Monkey sad.

Monkey want pictures from hamster.

Yep, still snow here ....

I now go to the land of the ice and snow, off to the midnight sun where the hot springs blow...

Yes, friends, Led Zeppelin paraphrasings beside, I'm off to Nebraska again to visit the Motherland (or is it Fatherland? or was it Heartland? I can never remember...) for the season and so will probably be away from the blog for those days, but we usually have all sorts of chaos going on close to and on New Year's, and I know I've got some big surprises planned for early next year...

Til then, I leave you will more Zep...

"Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...

*Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On.

* Chorus

Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.

* Chorus

Gonna ramble on, sing my song. Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world. I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby. I can't find my bluebird!"

--"Ramble On", Led Zeppelin, "III"

Well Greg, the American people might find your honesty refreshing. Other candidates take themselves too seriously. Unless you're Ross Perot. Who can take those ears seriously?

And yes Dom, God is trying to tell you to take on a campaign against KY Jelly, because putting tubes on the sidewalk for people to slip on could get messy.

On a completely random note, if you google my name, you'll find that I'm a famous Irish male singer. Well, I'm part Irish, so al least they got one part right.

Okay, so I'm walking down the street with my best friend Victor. And, for the second time in a lifetime, a close friend of mine randomly find a tube of KY on the ground.

Is God trying to tell me something?

I'd say I'd run with you for Vice President, but then we'd have to run under the "Blithering Lunatic" party, and not too many people vote along those party lines.

Why have the last two phone interviews I've done turned into "You're overqualified?" Maybe I should run for President on the Democratic ticket...

Just got out of the interview with WIRED.

I'm not quite sure how to read the reactions of the interviewers. Two of them started by saying they were MegaTokyo fans, which is always a surprise...

And then on the way home, a blind woman asked me for help crossing the street, which I realized after the fact would maybe boost my karma.

(Hey, let me grasp my straws here)

Well looks like I'm supposed to be headed for California (Disneyland) in about 4 hours or less...yay...family trips...in LA...yay...

Well, it's the "Hey how much were you making at your last job? Whoooooooohee! We can't pay that. How many things were doing at your last job? Wooowee! That's more than we want you to do. Uh..... you must be overqualified..." syndrome...

You've GOT to be fucking kidding me. Overqualified is a made-up word. If you want a job, and you meet the MINIMUM requirements, there's no reason you should be turned down. What, are you going to do the job TOO well or something?

So now I'm OVERqualified.... Ugh.

Return of the King fucking ROCKS!!!

It's absolutely fantastic. You all need to see it. Now.

I'm serious. Put on your coat, grab your wallet and exit the building.

You'll thank me later. ^^

I... just got my first interview. It sure is nice knowing that companies are at least interested enough to try interviewing...

next step is waking up in time to get to the WIRED building by 10 AM (ow).

You mean it has nothing to do with body temperature?

Any answer I give to this will get me in some trouble with someone somewhere, so you know what? I'm gonna let it slide...

Why is it that people think my virginity has anything to do with virtue or morals?

http://www.jlknet.com/wwad.jpg

That's okay. We're crazy, and we know it.

In other news, I have a date! And I'm the one who called and made it. ^^

You want me to go and sit and wait for five hours to see the Lord of The Rings?


Fuck that.

My friend Michael's out of work again.

Dear Lord, why can't any of us in this industry get and keep jobs?

Cliff, this is what you have to look forward to:

I read your rant u put up today. It was scary, it sound like me! I have
been writting short stories and such as long as I can remeber and since I
decided to seriously think about writting a manga I have had the worst
time trying to write a normal story! It's like I get stuck in that
format! Quite annoying ain't it!? I love reading your rants, you crack me
up in the worst (or should I say best?) way! ^ - ^ Anyway, I was reading
through it, laughing my ass off, and thinking that I think I am falling
in love with you! LOL! [08.gif] I can't even belive I got up the nerve
to write you an e-mail. But what the heck right? So how much like your
character are you really? Cause that character of Dom really can be dork
sometimes. Although, dork is good. (see now I am ranting) Personaly only
the 'pencil-protecter-nerds' are the guys I go for anyway! [09.gif]
Before I make myself look like a fool further I am gonna close my eyes
and press the send button b-4 I change my mind and trash this letter!
*blush* Bai Bai! O_^

I bet Greg doesn't get these kind of e-mails. Or maybe he does and Liz tracks them down and kills them.

So I threw yet another hubcap yesterday. The difference this time was, I heard it fall off and recovered it. So it is now sitting safely in the backseat of my car. The passenger side looks half-naked though.

Continuing the day of bad news, I'm out of Pleasanton. Just turned in my 30 days notice to vacate my apartment. I'm moving in with Greg and Liz who've offered to put me up for a while, which I greatly appreciate... I wish it hadn't come to this, but I don't really have much of a choice, I'm afraid...

Good news: I have my last two projects done, nothing more due. One of my finals is also optional, so I might just keep the grade I have as opposed to taking the chance that it will hurt my grade. I'm in my last class right before it starts, and I have a good set of grades for the semester.

Yay.

Bad news: I found out about 20 minutes ago that my Grandfather is in the hospital and needs critical surgery.

Fucking Hell.

I had the weirdest dream last night. My friend Andy was teaching me how to street race. On a marathon course. During the marathon I had to run for a PE class.

And when I got to the finish line, there were people taking their singing finals, and I had to crawl past them to get to someone who said that I was cheating because Andy drove.

Weird.

Let's see, here's my track record thusfar:

Cryptic Studios -- think I'd be a great fit for a community manager (were they hiring one), not interested in me as an associate game designer.
Official Playstation Magazine -- interviewed for the position, then they decided to fill it internally.
EALA -- did a phone interview, never heard back.
Google -- said they wanted to set up a phone interview, ignored repeated attempts to.
GameSpot -- asked for writing samples, never heard back from them again.
UbiSoft -- interviewed in the office twice, the second time they forgot about me in the interview room. Haven't heard back from them since.
IGN -- interviewed, but they've decided not to fill the position.
GamePro -- interviewed twice, the editorial staff seems to think I'd be great, but not for the position I'd interviewed for. Hoping they'll call back with something.
Toys For Bob -- did a phone interview, they decided to go with someone else.
Viz -- asked for writing samples, never heard back from them again.
EGM -- heard about an opening, but they filled it internally. They're keeping me on file.

What a wonderful year for me professionally, huh?

Good day,

I humbly introduce myself to you; I am Mrs. Alhaja
Zainab Hamza the wife Of Captain Hamza who served in
Iraq. I am contacting you base on trust and
humanitarian assistance which I urgently need from
you. The recent concluded US led war against my
country has left my family total devastated as I lost
my Husband to the cold hands of death and the children
lost their father.

Long before this war started, my late husband had in
his custody $20.7 Million U.S Dollars, but due to
serious threat of war from the United
States and the collision forces (if our dictator
president does not amend his ways), my husband had to
act fast and at such deposited these funds in a
Diplomatic Condominium in a neighboring country for
the purpose of our family survival after the war
might have been over.

I am writing you this letter because our dreams was
not fulfilled as we could not leave Iraq before the
war but we did however succeeded in getting the
children to a neighboring country first before trying
to proceed with getting ourselves out. It was in the
process of escaping to a neighboring country that we
came under friendly fire. It was this mistake that
took my husband’s life and critically injured me.I was
rushed to a military hospital in a neighboring country
where I am currently admitted and writing this letter.
I am recovering well and now that my health has
improved dramatically, I need to think of the future
of my Children and who to trust in sending the entire
amount kept by my late husband for investment and
acquiring immigration papers for my children.

If you believe you can assist me on this endeavor,
kindly reply to my new
email so that I shall
forward to you all the details required to carry on
this transaction successfully.

I look forward to your prompt favorable response.
Thanks for your understanding.


Yours Respectfully,

Mrs. Zainab Hamza.

Well, isn't that wonderful! To aid you in this, you need only send a cashier's check made out for $100,000 to me care of the Pleasanton branch of Bank of America. They will be happy to pass the check on to me and once it has been cashed and your legitimacy established, I will be more than happy to aid you in this endevour...

Fucking idiots.

Wonderful, on top of everything I can't sleep either...

I want Cliff to be happy. For a whole week. That's all.

Why do people keep holding interviews for positions they aren't going to hire for in the first place? I mean, seriously, what's the fucking point!

Well if I ever needed confirmation that "Clubs" are not my thing with nights like tonight. It seems the last of the "scheduled" NGage things I don't have to find myself and think up/get paid more to do was tonight and it was once again at the House of Blues...yea...but it was "Juice Night." I felt soooooo outa place it was sickening. Couldn't even stand to stay halfway thru the "Maxim Girls" contest thing they had goin (just got my work done and got da hell outa there). Least I had the confirmation on someone else's dime ;)

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Several things have transpired since my last post. My bloodhound, Julio has since passed away. I love her dearly, and she lived the hound equivalent of a good life - well past 14 years of bliss on 21 acres she roamed to her hearts content. I am somehow managing to carry my classload and not freak out - 2 presentations and projects along with 1 paper down, 1 more project and a 1 paper to go before finals. My friend Tom and I are finally getting our servers set up on our fiber - hosting soon to be switched to our machines when we have everything set up appropriately. This means several projects I've been working on are nearly ready.

Yay.

Christy is a Giant Lizard that leaves a Trail of Goo, Fears Nothing, kidnaps Blonde Women, and has an Extra Head and a Computer for a Brain. Strength: 8 Agility: 4 Intelligence: 9 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Christy, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Christy using Strength Agility Intelligence

Kermit is a Giant Dragon that can Change Colour, is Covered in Spines and Covered in Bumps and Nodules, and has a single Horn on its Forehead. Strength: 9 Agility: 8 Intelligence: 7 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Kermit, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Kermit using Strength Agility Intelligence

Devinoch is a Collosal Ant that leaves a Trail of Goo, can Change Shape, carries a Flamethrower, and has a Humorous Nephew Sidekick. Strength: 11 Agility: 2 Intelligence: 7 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Devinoch, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Devinoch using Strength Agility Intelligence

Hey sorry bout my absence the past while. Things have been real fun here with holding down my current job, handling freelance teching, and the NGage it's left me with barely enough time to sleep. Anyways I figured I'd hop on and post a text message I sent to Cliff yesterday.

"The VGA Awards...also a synonym for infomercial"

Now come on...it's obvious when you give Best Game to Maden 2004 And best fighting game to whatever new WWE game there is...do I really have to tell you the rest of the awards to convince you (there were some on the ball awards but they didn't have massively expensive events happen right after them so probably nobody wanted to buy those awards)? Plus the show really sucked in general. Now the after party? Now that made up for the show just A, O, K =)

One last thing though...if you wanna see the HARDEST rocking EVER done by a human being in a wheel-chair watch the VGA Awards whenever the hell it's gona air. Turn the sound off during that part and you should get a good laugh. The guy will look like hes haveing the worst seisure of all time without the music =)

Navidad 18: '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''']5t
Buckminster501: hi maverick :-)

The age of the digital kitten is now. He also turned off the cable box.

Okay, I know people don't like to hear other people whine, but I will stop keeping this much in: I've been feeling very, very worthless lately. It's mostly the employment situation, plus the prospect of having to live at the parents' and invalidate five years of independent living.

Okay, enough being down on myself. I know what I'm good at... being pantsless!

Beware of Maverick, especially when he attacks.

But... I'm so good at being pantsless!

As John Leguizamo once said, "I couldn't write a line like that."

Dom, keep your pants on, that's all I have to say. If we've banned No Pants Greg, I think we can apply that rule to you too...

I would defend myself, but as I don't know what I was referring to when I said that, I cant claim to know what the whole thing was about.

Either that or Cliff made it up to amuse himself while he couldn't sleep.

Trust me, monkeys look better without pants.

"Monkeys look better in pants."

Well, at least I make some logical sense when I'm talking in my sleep.