Sitting here...
I came to the conclusion that some people out there actually read this blog. Now I am not really sure why you do it. But its weird. Perhaps its the others innate sense of comedy and timing. Or perhaps some of you devilish stalkers out there are wanting the "inside scoop" or perhaps I am actually entertaining enough to keep this blog going. Oh yes, I know you all are wondering why yesterday I was speaking as if I had nothing to offer... but I myself realise how entertaining I actually am.
Here... watch me stand on my head. Or balance on one foot! That was entertaining right? No? Hmm... well perhaps some of you read just because its fullfills that human need to spy and pry. Don't think that I am attacking you. I have that need too. For example, there is this gentleman that works in the same office building as I do. He always watches me as I move past his window and when he strolls past mine. But even though I have no interest in him or in anyone else's office... I find myself looking into his office as well. Perhaps to catch him looking at me, or just to pry. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. I am pretty sure that everyone has this natural desire to "rubberneck: at an accident. Hence why we have televisions and the news almost 24 hours a day. So we can be in "the know".
As we start our decent into the anniversary of September 11th, I sit and wonder how hard it must have been for people in the earlier centuries to not know about anything for months and months. If there had been a war... people in other cities wouldn't have known for a few days. When the invention of a journalist came around and written documents were able to be stored... did they keep these things and bring them back out a year later to rehash the Civil War? Probably not. So why do we feel the need to put ourselves through pain? My theory is politics. If they (the government) keep showing us these sights that made us angry and sad and spiteful... then we (the people) will agree with them on just about anything. Sounds easy enough to me.
So for entertainment... so that I can keep you coming back to this lovely blog... I am going to sing the Star Spangled Banner. OR perhaps I will just end all of my posts with jokes from now on. Sound good enough? Ok... here we go:
**Please note: Some of these jokes can be perverted and sometimes just straight XXX rated. So please use care while reading.**
JOKE OF THE DAY:
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are at divorce court.
The judge says," So Mickey, you say that your wife is crazy?"
Mickey replies,"No, no, no I said she was fucking Goofy."
SECOND JOKE OF THE DAY:
There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".
"How do you play that?" asked the redneck.
"It's easy'' said the Spanish boy, "we can play it next recess."
So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. "Alright," said the Spanish boy, "Lets play."
The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe.
"You win for sure," they both said.
Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?"
"Yup. I played this game called ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I'm a redneck."
His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."
Thanks for reading!
.:Lizzie:.
I came to the conclusion that some people out there actually read this blog. Now I am not really sure why you do it. But its weird. Perhaps its the others innate sense of comedy and timing. Or perhaps some of you devilish stalkers out there are wanting the "inside scoop" or perhaps I am actually entertaining enough to keep this blog going. Oh yes, I know you all are wondering why yesterday I was speaking as if I had nothing to offer... but I myself realise how entertaining I actually am.
Here... watch me stand on my head. Or balance on one foot! That was entertaining right? No? Hmm... well perhaps some of you read just because its fullfills that human need to spy and pry. Don't think that I am attacking you. I have that need too. For example, there is this gentleman that works in the same office building as I do. He always watches me as I move past his window and when he strolls past mine. But even though I have no interest in him or in anyone else's office... I find myself looking into his office as well. Perhaps to catch him looking at me, or just to pry. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. I am pretty sure that everyone has this natural desire to "rubberneck: at an accident. Hence why we have televisions and the news almost 24 hours a day. So we can be in "the know".
As we start our decent into the anniversary of September 11th, I sit and wonder how hard it must have been for people in the earlier centuries to not know about anything for months and months. If there had been a war... people in other cities wouldn't have known for a few days. When the invention of a journalist came around and written documents were able to be stored... did they keep these things and bring them back out a year later to rehash the Civil War? Probably not. So why do we feel the need to put ourselves through pain? My theory is politics. If they (the government) keep showing us these sights that made us angry and sad and spiteful... then we (the people) will agree with them on just about anything. Sounds easy enough to me.
So for entertainment... so that I can keep you coming back to this lovely blog... I am going to sing the Star Spangled Banner. OR perhaps I will just end all of my posts with jokes from now on. Sound good enough? Ok... here we go:
**Please note: Some of these jokes can be perverted and sometimes just straight XXX rated. So please use care while reading.**
JOKE OF THE DAY:
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are at divorce court.
The judge says," So Mickey, you say that your wife is crazy?"
Mickey replies,"No, no, no I said she was fucking Goofy."
SECOND JOKE OF THE DAY:
There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".
"How do you play that?" asked the redneck.
"It's easy'' said the Spanish boy, "we can play it next recess."
So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. "Alright," said the Spanish boy, "Lets play."
The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe.
"You win for sure," they both said.
Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?"
"Yup. I played this game called ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I'm a redneck."
His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."
Thanks for reading!
.:Lizzie:.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home