Well, shit. Apparently, I opened up a can of monkeys with my post below.
To clarify: Yes, I complain about being single. No, I don't date. Why? To date, someone must actually ask you out.
Okay, now I know of several people who have just screamed "WE HAVE!" The problem: I'm not going to date someone I have absolutely no interest in dating. All the people who have asked me out have been FRIENDS, and people I had no interest in becoming anything more than that with. Getting that through their heads was probably the most painful thing for me to go through. Doing it 4 times has made me think that I should just leave well enough alone, and that some higher power has decided that I'm to be a spinster for the rest of my life. You think you felt like shit guys? Yeah, I felt worse. I guarantee it. The guilt I have at this point is insane.
For me, to date someone means YOU HAVE TO HAVE INTEREST. And I'm not talking *pant pant* type interest, I mean just plain interest. Not having interest, but going and letting him pay for everything, and think that since you accepted you must like him somehow? How wrong is that? I've made enough mistakes. I'm not going to let some poor guy think I'm interested, only to have me avoid him for months afterward when it turns out horribly.
And even so, other than a few guys I could count almost on one hand, I've never really been asked out. And the one person other than the four mentioned above who asked, that was a disaster, and he ended up hurt, and I ended up once again realizing that I should never even think of the opposite sex, much less date. And don't fucking tell me that I should ask them out, because that involves having some sort of self confidence in my body, and ability to ever have any guys interest, other than the ones I don't want.
But you know what? Yes, I'm fucked up, I have problems with men. But I can go to places where women are a minority, and no men will bother me. a/a, they will flock to you, and you might have to push them off with brooms, but they will never approch me. So why even bother when no one is interested, except people that you're only going to hurt?
So fine. Have your own opinions on how I should just date every fucking person who doesn't ask me, or that I should drink myself into someone's bed, or that it's my own fucking fault, and it's not for the lack of others trying to fix/convince/modify my thinking. You know what? You're all right. Congratulations.
And I've probably hurt a bunch of people again with this post. Fucking great. I'm going to go cry now.
To clarify: Yes, I complain about being single. No, I don't date. Why? To date, someone must actually ask you out.
Okay, now I know of several people who have just screamed "WE HAVE!" The problem: I'm not going to date someone I have absolutely no interest in dating. All the people who have asked me out have been FRIENDS, and people I had no interest in becoming anything more than that with. Getting that through their heads was probably the most painful thing for me to go through. Doing it 4 times has made me think that I should just leave well enough alone, and that some higher power has decided that I'm to be a spinster for the rest of my life. You think you felt like shit guys? Yeah, I felt worse. I guarantee it. The guilt I have at this point is insane.
For me, to date someone means YOU HAVE TO HAVE INTEREST. And I'm not talking *pant pant* type interest, I mean just plain interest. Not having interest, but going and letting him pay for everything, and think that since you accepted you must like him somehow? How wrong is that? I've made enough mistakes. I'm not going to let some poor guy think I'm interested, only to have me avoid him for months afterward when it turns out horribly.
And even so, other than a few guys I could count almost on one hand, I've never really been asked out. And the one person other than the four mentioned above who asked, that was a disaster, and he ended up hurt, and I ended up once again realizing that I should never even think of the opposite sex, much less date. And don't fucking tell me that I should ask them out, because that involves having some sort of self confidence in my body, and ability to ever have any guys interest, other than the ones I don't want.
But you know what? Yes, I'm fucked up, I have problems with men. But I can go to places where women are a minority, and no men will bother me. a/a, they will flock to you, and you might have to push them off with brooms, but they will never approch me. So why even bother when no one is interested, except people that you're only going to hurt?
So fine. Have your own opinions on how I should just date every fucking person who doesn't ask me, or that I should drink myself into someone's bed, or that it's my own fucking fault, and it's not for the lack of others trying to fix/convince/modify my thinking. You know what? You're all right. Congratulations.
And I've probably hurt a bunch of people again with this post. Fucking great. I'm going to go cry now.
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