Okay, hang on here...

Let me see if I have this straight...

I'm dating Christy, and having affairs with Liz and Erin.
Christy's dating me, and having affairs with Liz and Greg.
Greg is dating Liz, and having affairs with Christy and France.
Liz is dating Greg, and having affairs with Christy, Erin, myself and, quite possibly, Canada.
The French Canadians are getting fucked by everybody.
President Bush is befuddled and having an affair with the horse.
The Pope is crying because he's not having an affair with anyone.
This is not an affair to remember.
This is not an affair of the heart.
This is not affair play.

That was, in fact, a bad pun.

I am now officially confused... can someone lend me a program a minute? Maybe the Cast of Characters explains some of this...