My friend Aaron posted this on Nekobox the other day, and it's worth reading, it being funny as hell:
As for this letter-trend thing that is business-speak (and leaves a bad taste in my mouth), why don't we start a revolution of our own to fight back that garbage?
Examples?
+ slap a large "i" sticker on your (real) trash can and tell everyone it's one of those new fangled "iTrashCans" or "iDumpsters"... guaranteed to be emptiable on demand! It even has an RS-232 port on it! Hell, if you want, screw on IEEE-1394 ports, USB 2.0 ports, and even an UW-SCSI port for good measure! Oh! Don't forget power!
+ slap an "i" sticker on your left shoe that's white, an "e" sticker on your right shoe that's candy-light-blue and call them "iLeftShoe" and "eRightShoe", respectively. In this case, no ports because they're "wireless" or "Wi-Fi enabled ^_~"!
+ slap an "e" on your cubicle wall, because it's "different" than your typical cubicle wall, because this now new "eCubicleWall" increases "productivity", encourages "synergy", and is overall "cost-effective" because it does what the other cubicle walls do without added cost! Why? Just claim that it has "Bluetooth" and they'll walk on by, satisfied that they got to hear another cool-sounding buzz-word. o.O
Then once we've gotten those "squirrelly" people to jump on this bandwagon, then we can start introducing the other letters to keep them on their feet:
+ slap an "m" on your car. It'll now be an "mCar", short for "my car"... because of course, it *is* your car. That has an added bonus of wearing out that stupid "my" bullshit naming scheme as well!
+ slap a "c" on your sunglasses--but be sure not to obscure your vision--and call it a "cSunglasses" or "cShade" or "cVis" (be creative!) because you know they are just so cool!
+ slap a "p" on your bush or tree. yes! they are now "pBush"s and "pTree"s! ^_~
We'll sidetrack to using obscure symbols, like deltas (for new things and sharp things), ankhs (for life!), and maybe even some pictographic characters (asian, arabian, cyrillic--for exotic!). (I shall forego the examples here.)
Then we go to multiple letters!
+ "meCar" for "my excellent car" as the new wonderful upgraded version!
+ "ieShoes" for those white-with-blue-striped shoes!
+ and for that larger than usual metal can that handles "The Right Amount of SHit" AND that empties 20% faster than other metal cans because of it's revolutionary limited size, the "trashCan"!
Look! We've gone full circle! :3
I hope you've enjoyed this moment of educational enlightenment. Good night and farewell. Thank you for your support. This rant has been brought to you by the letters--oh f*** off! ENOUGH WITH THE LETTERS ALREADY!
e again: Does this mean my nickname is special since it's by itself? Oh well. Thanks Aaron for the laughs. ^^
As for this letter-trend thing that is business-speak (and leaves a bad taste in my mouth), why don't we start a revolution of our own to fight back that garbage?
Examples?
+ slap a large "i" sticker on your (real) trash can and tell everyone it's one of those new fangled "iTrashCans" or "iDumpsters"... guaranteed to be emptiable on demand! It even has an RS-232 port on it! Hell, if you want, screw on IEEE-1394 ports, USB 2.0 ports, and even an UW-SCSI port for good measure! Oh! Don't forget power!
+ slap an "i" sticker on your left shoe that's white, an "e" sticker on your right shoe that's candy-light-blue and call them "iLeftShoe" and "eRightShoe", respectively. In this case, no ports because they're "wireless" or "Wi-Fi enabled ^_~"!
+ slap an "e" on your cubicle wall, because it's "different" than your typical cubicle wall, because this now new "eCubicleWall" increases "productivity", encourages "synergy", and is overall "cost-effective" because it does what the other cubicle walls do without added cost! Why? Just claim that it has "Bluetooth" and they'll walk on by, satisfied that they got to hear another cool-sounding buzz-word. o.O
Then once we've gotten those "squirrelly" people to jump on this bandwagon, then we can start introducing the other letters to keep them on their feet:
+ slap an "m" on your car. It'll now be an "mCar", short for "my car"... because of course, it *is* your car. That has an added bonus of wearing out that stupid "my" bullshit naming scheme as well!
+ slap a "c" on your sunglasses--but be sure not to obscure your vision--and call it a "cSunglasses" or "cShade" or "cVis" (be creative!) because you know they are just so cool!
+ slap a "p" on your bush or tree. yes! they are now "pBush"s and "pTree"s! ^_~
We'll sidetrack to using obscure symbols, like deltas (for new things and sharp things), ankhs (for life!), and maybe even some pictographic characters (asian, arabian, cyrillic--for exotic!). (I shall forego the examples here.)
Then we go to multiple letters!
+ "meCar" for "my excellent car" as the new wonderful upgraded version!
+ "ieShoes" for those white-with-blue-striped shoes!
+ and for that larger than usual metal can that handles "The Right Amount of SHit" AND that empties 20% faster than other metal cans because of it's revolutionary limited size, the "trashCan"!
Look! We've gone full circle! :3
I hope you've enjoyed this moment of educational enlightenment. Good night and farewell. Thank you for your support. This rant has been brought to you by the letters--oh f*** off! ENOUGH WITH THE LETTERS ALREADY!
e again: Does this mean my nickname is special since it's by itself? Oh well. Thanks Aaron for the laughs. ^^
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