FUCKING A! WHY DOES FATE SEEMED DESTINED TO FUCK ME IN THE ASS EVERY CHANCE SHE FUCKING GETS?!
So, the motherfuckers at the unemployment office apparently can't fucking read. They sent me back a form that arrived TODAY saying that the claim they should have been paying me for LAST week wasn't completely filled out, so I need to send it to them again! This means that that check won't arrive until next week and the check after it won't arrive until the 6th or so, which puts me in deep fucking shit with the landlord, who hasn't gotten back to me about moving into a smaller apartment, and I get to live on the $25 in my account now for the next month or so. And because money is so tight, Sprint's turned the phone off, because I can't fucking afford to pay them. I'm already late on a car payment. I fucking hate this. I hate not being able to take care of my life. I hate not being able to sustain myself. I hate not being able to make it in the world. I fucking feel like a total motherfucking failure, like a waste of human life. I'm just a burden to everyone and I can't fucking stand it. I can't get work. I can't pay my bills. I can't even get a simple fucking job working as a store manager for Barnes & Noble or Best Buy. I sit around all day and send of dozens of resumes and people can't be bothered to give me a simple "Sorry, we don't think you're the kind of person we want." I get fucking silence. I'm going stir fucking crazy. I don't know how much more I can take of this. If it's supposed to be a test of my wills, I get the fucking point -- no one's invincible, not even me.
I'm scared. I can't fucking help it. I'm crying right now even as I'm trying to keep my composure together.
Am I really such a bad person that HR departments across the country feel the need to shit on me regularly?
What the fuck am I going to do?
So, the motherfuckers at the unemployment office apparently can't fucking read. They sent me back a form that arrived TODAY saying that the claim they should have been paying me for LAST week wasn't completely filled out, so I need to send it to them again! This means that that check won't arrive until next week and the check after it won't arrive until the 6th or so, which puts me in deep fucking shit with the landlord, who hasn't gotten back to me about moving into a smaller apartment, and I get to live on the $25 in my account now for the next month or so. And because money is so tight, Sprint's turned the phone off, because I can't fucking afford to pay them. I'm already late on a car payment. I fucking hate this. I hate not being able to take care of my life. I hate not being able to sustain myself. I hate not being able to make it in the world. I fucking feel like a total motherfucking failure, like a waste of human life. I'm just a burden to everyone and I can't fucking stand it. I can't get work. I can't pay my bills. I can't even get a simple fucking job working as a store manager for Barnes & Noble or Best Buy. I sit around all day and send of dozens of resumes and people can't be bothered to give me a simple "Sorry, we don't think you're the kind of person we want." I get fucking silence. I'm going stir fucking crazy. I don't know how much more I can take of this. If it's supposed to be a test of my wills, I get the fucking point -- no one's invincible, not even me.
I'm scared. I can't fucking help it. I'm crying right now even as I'm trying to keep my composure together.
Am I really such a bad person that HR departments across the country feel the need to shit on me regularly?
What the fuck am I going to do?
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